Diary of a Sub
by DeLambful Fiction
Summary: To love, to honor and to cherish are the vows that most people take. My vows were to serve, to obey and to submit...I am a sub.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1- Options**

**"****_Never let the challenge of the unknown limit your decisions. We do not improve ourselves through changing exactly the same."_**

**Little did I know that my daily blog entry would be words that I myself would need to follow but life always works in mysterious ways. **Alone in my room, I stare into the mirror thinking about last night as I try to decide what to do, I know have a decision to make. This is not like any other I have ever made before. It is unbelievable what difference one night can make and how just one person can open up a door to a new world of possibilities. This world will change my life and me completely but what scares me the most is will it be for better or for worse?

I never thought of myself as different from most. I am just your average 25 year old. Graduated from college, got a job that I love as freelance writer, I pay taxes and I want what everyone wants: to be loved and have someone to share my life with. But all my life it's been a constant struggle looking for love. 'You will find someone,' has been said to me over and over again throughout my life. 'You will find someone who is just right for you,' but I have been burned so many times that I have just given up looking. I don't want much, just someone to share my thoughts with, someone to send a quiet night with and someone to make me feel like I am worth spending time with. However, I've grown used to being alone.

Being alone has grown comfortable to me. I live with my best friend and most of the time she is off with her boy toy of that week so I have the place to myself but she constantly drags me out trying to push me at guys or guys at me. Ignoring her doesn't work, she just brings them back to our place so knowing that when she texted me to bring my ass out to the local bar last night I knew I better just do it. After pulling on my fave jeans and a black top I stand in front of the mirror. I roll my brown eyes at my reflection and pull my long brown hair up as I brush it letting it fall back down over my shoulders. I am just considering trying to make an excuse when my cell goes off and it's my roomie again. I sigh as I take the call and head to the bar quickly. Sitting at a bar table with my best friend and roommate Kari and her new boyfriend I am rolling my eyes at their latest attempt to play matchmaker. He is cute enough but so obvious as he asks me why a girl like me is still single. I shake my head, making my long dark brown hair move across covering my right shoulder as I fix my chocolate eyes on him. Leaning forward I roll my eyes at him, "Sorry, I have tried the boyfriend/girlfriend thing several times and yeah that ended badly. Then I tried the fiancée/fiancé twice...was married the once 'til we both realized that we wanted different things. I am too young to give up my career to have a house full of kids that I am not sure I want at all. So now, I am just looking for someone to have fun with. I have given up on love." I watch his face pale and then stand up to head to the bar.

After my harsh words Kari is glaring at me as I walk away from my intended date who is just watching me blankly. I am halfway to the bar when Kari catches up to me. Her eyes are bright blue flashing with anger at me. "Vi what the hell is your problem tonight?"

I shake my head at her, "Kari don't start this again, did I ask you to do that?"

"I have to ask to get my best friend to meet a nice guy now?"

"Do we really need to go through this again here?" I pull her to me and whisper furiously to her. "How many times do I have to be hurt before you let me just be happy being single?"

Kari shakes her head at me this time, "I will never let you be single. Victoria would you please listen to me. You deserve to find someone who loves you like David loves me."

I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes at her as I hiss back, "and how long have you two know each other?"

"Oh wait okay I can see this is hopeless right now. Fine go be happy and single for the night." She walked back to the table with the guys. I see they are both watching me but I just shake my head again and turn back to the bar. Leaning against a bar stool sipping my beer is where he found me. Just a brief glance made me wonder what was it about him...as I peeked over at him I felt weak in the knees, so I bowed my head to let my hair tumble over my red face. I sigh and then heard him ask, "So, is this seat taken?"

Slowly lifting up my head, I pulled my hair to one side as I fixed my eyes on his. I had to turn my head up, seeing as he towered over my tiny 5'6 height. I guess him to be well over 6 ft tall and in his eyes, those bright green eyes, I see a twinkle of mischief and his face draws my interest as I stare at him. I laugh softly to cover up the nervousness he makes me feel, before I answer him. "That seat is not taken and neither is this one," I motion to the seat I am just leaning against.

As I stare at him his face suddenly changes to a stern look that makes me stand up straighter as he questions me, "if I buy you a drink will you sit?"

His words feel like an order, like a challenge and it leaves me breathless. What the hell is it about him? He makes me want to say yes to whatever his orders are but I shake it off trying not to show his effect on me. "I already have a drink, thanks." His lips curl into a frown that makes me bite my lip, I don't like knowing I have displeased him...this random stranger who has such as effect on me already so I whisper softly, "but if you want to buy me another I will sit."

A wide grin appears on his face and the twinkle returns to his eyes, "good girl, good answer," is his reply while he motions to the bartender. To his words I feel as if he is laughing at me but then our eyes meet and again I am overwhelmed. Something in his eyes takes me over and I sit down quickly on the bar stool. He grins again, "good girl."

A few drinks later I am finally feeling myself with him when we start asking each other questions. I laugh when he asks for my name while he runs his hand through his short brown hair making it stand straight up. "My name is Victoria. What's yours?"

That grin of his is there again as he answers, "Robert, that's me. So tell me Victoria how are you here drinking all alone and how hard it would be for me to whisk you off someplace more private?"

"Nice to meet Robert and you are forward but I like that. I am single by choice and where would you whisk me too?"

"If I said you ask too many questions and you should just trust me, would you Victoria?" I look into his green eyes and see that challenging look again. I don't speak but just nod.

From that point on I let him have control of the night...he chose where to take me and no questions were asked. When we arrived at his place I found myself being pushed against the wall while he kissed me for the first time. That kiss was hard and deep as he took me by surprise. I gasp at the force he used to push his tongue into my mouth as if claiming me then he whispers to me, "Do you know what a Dominant is?" I stare at him and shake my head confused. "If you let me I can teach you so much."

My eyes widen as I listen to his words making me then frown. "Dominate me, exactly what does that mean?"

He kisses me again then starts to whisper in my ear what a Dominant is.

**_Dominant is one who assumes a role of power or authority in a power change relationship. A dominant takes over psychological and physical control of another giving order to be obeyed. _**

His kisses come at me harder and harder making me breathless but his hand in my hair keeps me there. I can't move away till suddenly he pulls my hair hard making me wince as my neck bends backward. "Victoria I want you as my sub."

"What is a sub?"

**_Submissive is one who assumes a role of submission in a power change relationship. A submissive is a person who seeks a position of or occupies a role of intentional, consensual powerlessness, allowing another person to take control over them._**

"So you want me to be your slave?" I scowl at him.

"A submissive is not a slave Victoria. You will very taken care of and I know of no other bond as powerful and strong as the sexual connection between a Dominant and his loving Submissive." I stare at him as he suddenly pulls my hand leading me down a long hallway in his apartment. "Come let me give you one night, one example of what it would be like to be mine. Will you consent to that?"

He stops outside a door gazing into my eyes as I whisper to him, "One night, yes. Show me what you want from me."

**_TO SERVE- the Submissive shall serve the Dominant in any way the Dominant sees fit and shall endeavor to please the Dominant at all times to the best of her ability._**

As the door swings open, he reaches to turn on the lights. I blink in the harsh light as I peer around me. The walls are black and there is not a lot of furniture. I see a large 4 post bed in one corner with ropes attached to each post. I swallow nervously as I don't recognize anything else in the room. There is a chair that is covered in harnesses and the legs, oh lord. The legs are full-length also covered with harnesses and its looks like the legs move so the person strapped in would be suddenly tied down legs spread wide open. I turn to him and shake my head. He doesn't say a word but points to the other side of the room where a large cross is attached to the wall. It is also covered in harnesses and next to it is a wall of what looks like whips and canes. I start to take a step back towards the door but as I move I feel something brush my head. I gaze up to see a cord with attachments hanging from the ceiling. I try to speak but at first my voice fails me then I manage a whisper to him, "what is all this?"

He looks around with a look of pride shining in his green eyes, "these are my toys. This is my playroom where you will serve me."

"What exactly do you mean by serve? Do you mean sex?"

"There is more to it Victoria than just sex. As my submissive you would allow me to train you, to control you and to discipline you as we explore your limits and your desires."

"Explore?" I gasp at those words and feel my knees shake. He comes to me taking a hold of my arm pulling me to the bed to sit down as his green eyes look me up and down. "Yes explore, how do you ever know if you like something if you don't try it? I will help you test what you enjoy and don't as I train you. As you tell me what you enjoy we will focus on those things alone. Shall we begin our example night? Or are you too weak for it?" I shake my head no and he pulls me back to my feet in front of him then kisses me hard. He breaks the kiss to whisper in my ear, "from this moment on I am in control of you. You will call me Master and as you serve me you will obey my orders without comment or hesitation, do you understand?"

"I do." I answer softly then he changes in front of me. His jaw tightens as he orders me to strip to my bra and panties and his eyes seem to harden. I open my mouth to question him but just a raise from one of his eyebrows I am reminded of my place. I strip down at once under his stern stare as I remember I am to obey my Master always.

**_To obey-The Submissive shall obey the rules at all times set out in this agreement._**

"Victoria, lie down on the bed face up." I obey without comment letting myself sink onto the large bed as he watches. "Good girl, being a good sub means to obey without a thought. To give up all control to your Master and to trust that your Master will never hurt you. If you obey as you should you will not be punished but rewarded."

I can't stop myself from asking, "Punished?"

"As you are trained, there will be limits pushed as I will show you. Now reach your hands over your head and spread your legs wide to the sides." I nod and obey at once but my eyes are wide with fear, he sees this and leans down to kiss my lips softly, "good girl, don't worry I don't plan to punish you until we have a signed contract but I want you to understand how I will be testing you." As he speaks he ties down first my wrists to the headboard then moves down to my ankles. As I realize how trapped I am I start shaking. I feel exposed and not sure this was a good idea. Tears come to my eyes and I can't stop them. "Victoria this is not about scaring you. This is about pleasure, trust me." He stands up and takes off his shirt before he moves back to sit next to me on the bed. He moves slowly to sit between my wide spread thighs but does not touch me yet. He leans down so I can feel the warmth from his breath over my clit as he speaks. I wiggle as much as I can while restrained and moan. "This is all about trust; trust that I will not hurt you. Obey without question and let your Master guide you. For tonight only I will ask for your permission to touch you as we do not have a signed contract yet."

"But why do we need a contract?"

"To let us both know what the limits are and so you know what's expected of you. This is not a boyfriend and girlfriend arrangement Victoria. I will expect more of you than any boyfriend but I will respect you more and care for you more as well."

I nod and gaze at him, "so this is more than just a sex thing?"

"Victoria, it is but no more questions tonight or I will just untie you and this will be over, is that what you want?"

He is still breathing his hot breath on me and its making me wetter by the moment. "No please don't stop. I will ask no more questions.

**_TO SUBMIT-The Submissive shall submit to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominant and shall do so without hesitation or agreement._**

"Then it's time for you to submit to me tonight, give yourself into my hands." I watch as he suddenly moves from the bed and then comes back to straddle me. His jeans are rough against my bare skin and my heart lurks in anticipation of what he is doing as he leans over me with a black satin blindfold in his hands. "Before we continue and you submit I want you to know that I will not fuck you without a signed contract but I will give you a taste of what to expect. Do you submit?"

"Yes." I whisper.

"Yes what and louder." He demands with the blindfold still in his hands.

"Yes Master."

"Good girl." I hear his words as he slips the blindfold over my eyes and I am now blind. I listen intently as I feel the bed move under me. I feel his jeans brush against my leg as he moves back down between my legs. "Now I'm going to touch you Victoria but if you need me to slow down the safe word is 'yellow' or if I push you to the point you can take no more the safe word is 'red' and I will stop at once."

"Yes Master." I whisper then I feel him touch me for the first time as his finger tips brush down my cheeks then my neck. Then his fingers are tracing my breasts through my bra moving lightly over my nipples as I moan.

"Good girl, now what are those safe words again Victoria?"

His fingers pinch my nipples hard making me cry out my answer, "yellow and red Master."

"Yes, now let's start." He leans down and I feel his tongue moving over my nipples through my bra then he pushes my bra up so my breasts are exposed. As the cold air washes over them I feel his warm lips on my nipples then a hard bite making me cry out. He pinches them harder and harder till I cry out as it makes me wetter and wetter. Then he starts biting my nipples moving from one side to the other over and over again harder and harder until I have no choice and cry out, "yellow." I feel him stop and then he moves on, his fingers trailing down my stomach lower and lower making me shake as I know where he is headed.

"For tonight only you can cum at will but part of your training to be a good sub is asking your Master if you may and learning how to control them if I deny your request. If you can, tell me when they are coming." I feel his fingers moving over the edges of my panties as he moves closer and closer to my clit still moving over my panties which are now so wet.

"Yes Master." I breath in hard as he pushes my panties to the side then continue to trace over me hitting my clit and the spreading my lips open so he can trace over me there alternating slow and slow teasing strokes with hard and fast punishing ones that leave me moaning for more. I want more, I need more and this feeling is just growing. I am on the edge so damn close but I can't arch my hips against his touch so I start to whimper.

"Don't whimper, tell me what you want Victoria."

"Yes Master, I want you to touch me."

"I am touching you." I whimper again and then bite my lip as his fingers continue to trace over me only.

"I want more."

"Victoria, just tell me what you want." He stops moving his fingers over me and I groan in protest.

I blush bright red and whimper again, my need so great I just can't stay on the edge anymore, "I want you to make me cum, fuck me."

"Victoria I won't fuck you the way you want right now but I will fuck you this way." I feel one of his fingers slip into me massaging me gently first running around and around my clit as he darts it in and out of me slow then fast. I moan and try to rock my hips against his touch but being tied down I can't. "Good girl, let me give you the release you need. And then I want you to think about how much more I can teach you when you are mine." I hear his words but before I can answer he thrust two fingers deep inside me finger fucking me harder and harder until I feel my thighs shaking and as I am covered in sweat I whimper once then cry out as I explode, "Master."

"Good girl, let go." His words are soft and I let go. I cry out over and over again as my body convulses around his fingers. Over and over again he brings me to climax. He changes from two fingers to one and from fast to slow. It feels like he is testing my limits each time it is a bit more intense, his touch varies but he never stops. I feel him slip 3 fingers into me and I moan out again. He continues his touch moving deep and hard then soft and slow. I suddenly feel myself being stretched wide as his fist enters me. I scream out and try to sit up pulling against my restraints as I cum so hard. My voice has grown hoarse from my cries until finally I can take it no more. As his fist darts deep in me I cum hard again and then once more I scream out but this time the safe word of "RED!" flies out of my mouth. His fingers move from me at once. I breathe in hard trying to slow my racing heart as I feel him untie my feet then my wrists. As he pulls off the blindfold I blink then stare at him. As I watch him he brings his fingers to his mouth licking them as I stare. "You are somewhat innocent aren't you? Just think of what I can teach you Victoria. I want to take you to places you have never been. Please consider this offer very seriously."

The first thing I do when untied is to rub my wrists as I stare at Robert. He lies down next to me with a grin on his face. I grin back at him breathlessly and nod, "I will consider it very carefully."

"Victoria you handled yourself very well, now after you serve me I reward you."

"Reward?" I feel my voice choke out that word as my eyes widen while I stare at him. "What that was not reward enough?"

"Oh no Victoria, that was not your reward but you see that serving me comes with build in rewards. I think I know something you might enjoy until we discuss formally your rewards." He motions for me to roll onto my stomach then he straddles me massaging first my neck then moving down to my shoulders. "Mmm that feels so good and you know you can just call me Vi, all my friends do."

Robert's hands grip my shoulders tighter for a moment as he answers, "No I like Victoria, here in my playroom that will be what I call you and you will call me Master. Now Victoria relax and enjoy your reward, no more talking." I nod and let myself drift off as he moves his hands down to my back. His touch is soothing and I wake up hours later confused not sure where I am. I hear a noise and realize he is curled up behind me, as I shift my body his hand pulls me back against him and I feel him hard brushing my leg. I don't want to wake him but I have to turn my head to stare at him, then suddenly his green eyes are open and gazing at me. "Shall I take you back to your car now?" I nod and he leaves the room while I dress. I peek around me again and wonder if I can ever feel comfortable in this room. All these things look so scary but yeah some intrigue me. I wander over to examine one of the chairs as he comes back into the room with my coat and purse. I hear him laugh softly, "See you are already wanting to learn and know more. Oh Victoria, that chair...I can see you naked and strapped in." He lets out a low whistle then comes to me holding out my coat. There is dead silence as we walk to his car and in his car the radio is the only sound to be heard. Suddenly I am nervous with him now. I can still feel him in the raw heat between my legs where his fingers were. Damn it's like my first time all over again and that thought makes me shift in my seat rubbing my thighs together. I glance over at him, he is watching me intently. I point to the road making him smirk at me. "And what is that smirk for Robert?"

"Just you Victoria and the things I want to do to you." He winks at me then turns his eyes back to the road. At my car he leans forward to kiss my lips softly and just as I lean closer wanting more he is gone. He watches till I am safely in my car then he leaves.

The next day I wake up a mess in my apartment soaking wet, sore as hell and with him on my mind. I try to pull him out of my mind as I start to work on my latest project but just then my cell lights up with an unknown call. I eye the number and refuse the call. Almost immediately I receive a text message.

**_"Victoria, I do hope that you can still feel me. This may be forward but what address can I send the contract to?"_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I stare at his text message then realize that he was the call that I refused. I reread his message and it flashes me right back to last night. I am moist at just the memory of his touch while I was bound to his bed. My nipples harden painfully reminding me of his hard biting and while I squirm in my seat I feel a raw heat from my core that makes me remember where his fingers were. I close my eyes as my desire fights with my head. Can I be his sub? Can I be a sub at all? Can I obey him without question? Can I give up all control and let him lead me? And if I don't, what about this punishment talk? I sigh and as I put my cell phone down I will myself to focus on my new work assignment but I just can't seem to stop thinking of anything but him. I can still feel his touch lingering on me and the dull ache from my nipples and between my legs every time I move is not helping. I groan and shift in my chair trying to lose myself in my work but my body betrays me. I squeeze my legs together and a sudden flash of pain makes me think of his fingers pushing hard into me kneading me and stretching me as he brought me to climax over and over again. This thought makes me act; I give up on work and pull my laptop close clicking on an internet search. I type in "submissive" and start reading. The first thing I see is a definition of submissive: ready to submit to others: giving in or tending to give in to the demands or authority of others. I squirm in my seat again and thirty minutes later I am even more intrigued. The things that I have read and the pictures that have filled my laptop screen have made me a mess of sexual longing and confusion. It seemed like it was just a sex thing but the more I have read the more confused I am now. It seems like quite a commitment to make and suddenly I understand his comment about being more than just a boyfriend to me while expecting more from me.

The images that I see make me think of him as he stood over me while I was tied down. Yes it was scary at first but after I relaxed knowing I could trust him it was such a turn on. I scroll further down the screen and bite my lip hard as I stare. Would I want him to spank me? Or use all the other things I see, blindfolds, whips, vibrators and countless other things that I have never seen before. I pour over each and every picture, I had expected to be turned off by all this but instead now I want to see more, to learn more and with him as my teacher. I am nearly climaxing at just the thought. I close my eyes trying to gather my thoughts but in my mind's eye I see that chair in his playroom. An image of me naked, strapped in while he teases me to the point I am screaming out makes me nearly convulse in my chair. Without a second thought I open my eyes and grab my cell to text him.

"Can you fax it to me?"

His reply is almost immediate, "Just give me the number Victoria."

I quickly enter my number; just before I hit send I enter some text. "Here is my number, Master." I hit send and tap my cell nervously then jump as my roommate walks up behind me. I jump again as my cell buzzes as Robert texts back that he will fax it within the hour. I hop up and brush past my roommate without a word going to the bathroom. As the hot water flows over me I close my eyes thinking of him. I let my fingers travel to where his were last night and at first I cry out at the rawness and pain I feel but as I picture him over me with a whip in his hand my body starts to respond. I quickly grow wetter and wetter till I cum hard moaning into the water. My nipples are aching to be touched as I breathe in deeply holding onto the shower wall waiting for my knees to stop trembling.

As I am wrapping a towel around myself I hear my fax machine starting to make noise. My heart races hoping its him sending the contract. I head out to check only to see my roomie deeply engrossed by my laptop screen. I dead stop and flush bright red as she turns to me, "Vi, what's all this?"

I bite my lip and swear to myself not answering her right away as I lean towards the fax machine watching as page after page pours out of it. I shrug at her trying to act casual, "That is just research."

"Research huh? Wow what kind of thing are you working on now?"

"Um a blog site." I lie as I shake my head; in my mind it's easier to just lie than to tell her the truth. If I let her think it's for work it will save me so many questions. I head back to my bedroom to dress quickly so I can review the contract. I come back and stare at the fax machine in dismay, its empty. Where did the pages go? I turn to Kari and sigh, "can I have those please?"

Kari sits there staring at the pages then looks up at me, "Oh my god, I'm dying looking at this. No way, who actually does this?"

I sigh in frustration at her and ask again, "can I have that please?" I roll my eyes at her and stand with my hand out but she completely ignores me reading. Then suddenly she gasps waving the first page at me.

"Vi what the fuck, why is your name on this?"

I grab at the page, "it's just research and I haven't even seen it yet to answer that. Give me the damn pages."

"Research huh?" She gives me a strange look. "You never had to sign a contract for your other research."

"Well this time it's different, now give me the fucking pages. I won't ask again."

She shakes her head at me then glares at me, "Vi this is crazy, its reads like you are entering into being owned. What the hell is a dominant?"

I sit down hard in the chair next to her as its obvious she is not going to let me have the contract anytime soon. "Kari, a Dominant is one who assumes a role of power or authority in a power change relationship. A dominant takes over psychological and physical control of another giving order to be obeyed."

She looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language and then asks more questions, "Okay, and what's a submissive?""

"A Submissive is one who assumes a role of submission in a power change relationship. A submissive is a person who seeks a position of or occupies a role of intentional, consensual powerlessness, allowing another person to take control over them."

"Oh my god, you mean you would be giving up control of your life, like a damn slave?"

I hit the end of my patience and reach to take the pages out of her hands, "First of all its just research remember and second what's so wrong with that?" I eye her and then look away scanning the first page of the contract.

**Made this day:**

_December 30, 2012_

**Between:**

Mr. Robert Black (**The Dominant**)

Ms. Victoria Masen (**The Submissive)**

As I see my name on the first page my mind slips back to thoughts of him again and I don't hear her reply but then feel her elbow me hard, "ouch, what the fuck?" I look up at her.

"Vi, are you even listening to me? There is a big damn difference, do you want to be someone's little pet or their equal?"

I pale at her words but fire back immediately, "because being equals has worked so well for me and stop acting like this is real. Just research remember." I look down and start reading again.

**The Parties Agree As Follows:**

1. The following are the terms of the binding contract between the Dominant and the Submissive's.

**Fundamental Terms:**

2. The fundamental purpose of this contract is to allow the Submissive's to explore her sensuality and her limits safely, with due respect and regard for her needs her limits and her well-being.

3. The Dominant and the Submissive's agree and acknowledge that all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be consensual, confidential and subject to the agreed limits and safety procedures set out in this contract. Additional limits and safety procedures may be agreed in writing.

4. Any breach to this contract shall render it void with immediate effect and each party agrees to be fully responsible to the other for the consequence of any breach.

5. Everything in this contract must be read and interpreted in the light of the fundamental purpose and the fundamental terms set out in the clauses.

I am engrossed in the terms when my cell goes off and Kari grabs it first, she looks at it then at me with a look of disbelief. "What was that guy's name from last night? The one you disappeared with."

"Robert Black, why?" I realize my mistake too late as she snatches back the first page of the contract and waves it at me.

"You have lost your damn mind! You have a few failed relationships so you are ready to give yourself up to some guy like a damn whore."

I snatch the page back and glare at her. "A sub is not a whore, and a few failed relationships you said? You of all people dare to judge me?" I take a deep breath to keep from screaming at her. "You know all I have been through so NO, don't you dare tell me what to do." I shake my head at her and push her to the side grabbing my laptop and my cell before stomping off to my room. I turn back to her before I slam my door shut, "you know how much all that hurt me and so yeah maybe I am crazy to even consider this but it's my life, my choice and I am done talking about it."

I sit down and look at my cell for the message that came through, it's from Robert. "Victoria, did you get the contract?"

I text back at once, "I got it and I'm reading it right now."

His reply is immediate again and its surprises me, "Will you be ready to discuss it by 7?"

As I peek over at the clock I see that only leaves me a few hours to tear through this contract but the thought of seeing him again tonight fuels me. "I can do that. Where are we meeting?"

"Victoria, my place. Do you remember the way?"

I laugh and text back, "Not a clue, can you give me your address?" I am rewarded immediately with his address and a quick note to be prompt. Noting his address I see that I will need to give myself about an hour to make sure I am not late as I settle in to read this contract.

**Roles:**

6. The Dominant shall take full responsibility for the well-being and proper training, guidance and discipline of the Submissive's. He shall decide the nature of the training, guidance and discipline and the time and place of its administration, subject to the agreed terms, limitations and the safety procedures set out in this contract or agreed.

7. If at any time the Dominant should fail to keep to the agreed terms, limitations and the safety procedures set out in this contract, the Submissive is entitled to terminate this contract forthwith and to leave the service of the Dominant without notice.

8. The Submissive is to serve and obey the Dominant in all things. Subject to the agreed terms, limitations and safety procedures set out in this contract or agreed. Submissive shall without query or hesitation offer the Dominant such pleasure as he may require and she shall accept without query or hesitation his training, guidance and discipline in whatever form it may take.

**Commencement and Term:**

9. This contract shall be effective for the period of three calendar months from the Commencement date. On the expiry of the Tern, the parties shall discuss whether this contract are to satisfactory and whether the needs of each party have been met. Either party may purpose the extension of this contract subject to adjustments to its terms or to the arrangements they have made under it. In the absence of agreement to such extension this contract shall terminate and both parties shall be free to resume their lives separately.

**Availability:**

10. The Submissive will make herself available to the Dominant every evening she is free and any other time that is mutually agreed upon. She will check in with the Dominant on a regular basis. These 'Allowed Times' can be mutually agreed upon.

11. The Dominant reserves the right to dismiss the Submissive from his service at any time and for any reason. The Submissive may request her release at any time, such request to be granted at the discretion of the Dominant.

**Location:**

13. The Submissive will make herself available during the allotted times and agreed additional times at locations to be determined by the Dominant. The Dominant will ensure that all travel costs incurred by the Submissive for that purpose are met by the Dominant.

14. All parties accept that certain matters may arise that are covered by the terms of this contract or the service provisions or that certain matters may be renegotiated. In such circumstances, further clauses may be proposed by way of amendment. Any further clauses or amendments must be agreed, documented and signed by all parties and shall be subject to the fundamental terms set out.

**Dominant:**

- The Dominant shall make the Submissive's health and safety a priority at all times. The Dominant shall not at any time require, request, allow or demand the Submissive to participate at the hands of the Dominant in the activities detailed or in any act that either parties deems to be unsafe. The Dominant will not undertake or permit to be undertaken any action which could cause serious injury or any risk to the Submissive's life.

- The Dominant accepts his Submissive's as his, to own, control, dominate and discipline during the Term. The Dominant may use the Submissive's body at any time during the 'Allowed Times' or any agreed additional times in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise.

- The Dominant shall provide the Submissive with all necessary training and guidance in how to properly serve the Dominant.

- The Dominant shall maintain a stable and safe environment in which the Submissive may perform her duties in service of the Dominant.

- The Dominant may discipline the Submissive as necessary to ensure the Submissive fully appreciates her role of subservience to the Dominant and to discourage unacceptable conduct. The Dominant may flog, spank, whip or corporeally punish the Submissive as he sees fit, for purposes of discipline for his own personal enjoyment or for any other reason which he is not obliged to provide.

- In training and in the administration of discipline the Dominant shall ensure that no permanent marks are made upon the Submissive's body nor any injuries incurred that may require medical attention.

- In training and in the administration of discipline the Dominant shall ensure that the discipline and the instruments used in such a way as to cause serious harm and shall not in any way exceed the limits defined and detailed in this contract.

- In case of illness or injury the Dominant shall care for the Submissive, seeing to her health and safety, encouraging and when necessary, ordering medical attention when it is judged necessary by the Dominant.

- The Dominant shall maintain his own good health and seek medical attention when necessary in order to maintain a risk-free environment.

- The Dominant will never loan his Submissive to another Dominant.

- The Dominant may restrain, handcuff or bind the Submissive at any time during the 'Allowed Times' or any agreed additional times for any reason and for extended periods of time, giving due regard to the health and safety of the Submissive.

- The Dominant will ensure that all equipment used for the purposes of training and discipline shall be maintained in a clean, hygienic and safe state at all times.

**Submissive:**

**- **The Submissive accepts the Dominant and her **ONLY** Master with the understanding that she is now the property of the Dominant, to be dealt with as the Dominant pleases during the Term generally but specifically during the 'Allowed Times' and any additional agreed 'Allowed Times'.

- The Submissive shall obey the rules **AT ALL TIMES **set out in this agreement.

- The Submissive shall serve the Dominant in any way the Dominant sees fit and shall endeavor to please the Dominant at all times to the best of her ability.

- The Submissive shall take all measures necessary to maintain her good health and shall request or seek medical attention whenever it is needed, keeping the Dominant informed at all times of any health issues that may or may not rise.

- The Submissive will ensure that is never pregnant by her Dominant and she will ensure that she takes it seriously.

- The Submissive shall accept without question any and all disciplinary actions deemed necessary by the Dominant and remember her status and role in regard to the Dominant at all times.

- The Submissive shall not touch or pleasure herself sexually without permission from the Dominant.

- The Submissive shall submit to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominant and shall do so without hesitation or agreement.

- The Submissive shall accept whippings, floggings, spankings, canings, paddlings, or any other discipline the Dominant should decide to administer without hesitation, inquiry or complaint.

- The Submissive shall not look directly into the eyes of the Dominant except when specifically instructed to do so. The Submissive shall keep her eyes cast down and maintain a quiet and respectful bearing in the presence of the Dominant.

- The Submissive shall always conduct herself in a respectful manner to the Dominant and shall always address him only as Sir, Master or Mr. Black.

- The Submissive will not touch the Dominant without his express permission to do so.

**Activities of the Submissive:**

1. The Submissive shall not participate in activities or any sexual acts that either party deems to be unsafe or any activities detailed.

**Safe words for the Dominant and the Submissive:**

1. The Dominant and the Submissive recognize that the Dominant may make demands of the Submissive that cannot be met without incurring physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or other harm at the time the demands are made to the Submissive. In such circumstances related to this, the Submissive may make use of a Safe word. Two Safe words will be invoked depending on the severity of the demands.

2. The Safe word '**Yellow' **will be used to bring the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive is close to her limit of endurance.

3. The Safe word '**Red**' will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive cannot tolerate any further demands. When this word is said, the Dominant's action will cease completely with immediate effect.

**More Rules for the Submissive and how she MUST conduct herself:**

**_Obedience:_** The Submissive will obey any instructions given by the Dominant immediately without hesitation or reservation and in an expeditious manner. The Submissive will agree to any sexual activity deemed see fit and pleasurable by the Dominant excepting those activities that are outlined in hard limits. She will do so eagerly and without hesitation.

**_Clothing: _**During the Term the Submissive will wear clothing only approved by the Dominant. The Dominant will provide a clothing budget for the Submissive, which the Submissive shall utilize. The Dominant shall accompany the Submissive to purchase clothing on an ad hoc basis. If the Dominant so requires, the Submissive shall, during the Term, wear adornments the Dominant shall require, in the presence of the Dominant and at any other time the Dominant deems fit**.**

**_Personal Hygiene/Beauty: _**The Submissive will keep herself clean and shaved and/or waxed at all times. The Submissive will visit a beauty salon of the Dominant's choosing at times to be decided by the Dominant and undergo whatever treatments the Dominant sees fit. All costs will be met by the Dominant.****

**_Personal Safety: _**The Submissive will not drink to excess, smoke, take recreational drugs or put herself in any unnecessary danger.

**_Personal Qualities: _**The Submissive will not enter into any sexual relations with any other than the Dominant. The Submissive will conduct herself in a respectful manner at all times. She must recognize that her behavior is a direct reflection on the Dominant. She shall be held accountable for any misdeeds, wrongdoings and misbehavior committed when not in the presence of the Dominant.

**_FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE PUNISHMENT, THE NATURE OF WHICH SHALL BE DETERMINED BY THE DOMINANT!_**

**Hard Limits:**

- No acts of fire play.

- No acts involving urination or defecation and the products thereof.

- No acts involving needles, knives, cutting, piercing or blood.

- No acts involving gynecological medical instruments.

- No acts involving children or animals at any time.

- No acts that will leave any permanent marks on the skin.

- No acts involving 'Breath Control'.

- No activity that involves the direct contact of electric current (whether alternating or direct), fire or flames to the body.

**Soft Limits: **To be discussed and agreed between all parties.

**Does the Submissive consent to?**

Masturbation?

Swallowing Semen?

Vaginal Intercourse?

**Does the Submissive consent to the use of?**

Vibrators?

Dildos?

Other vaginal toys?

**Does the Submissive consent to?**

Bondage with rope?

Bondage with leather cuffs?

Bondage with handcuffs/shackles?

Bondage with tape?

Bondage with anything other?

**Does the Submissive consent to be restrained with?**

Hands bound in front?

Ankles bound?

Elbows bound?

Hands behind back?

Knees bound?

Wrists bound to ankles?

Binding to fixed items, furniture, etc.?

Binding with spreader bar?

Suspension?

**Does the Submissive consent to be blindfolded?**

Yes?

No?

**Does the Submissive consent to be gagged?**

Yes?

No?

**Just how much pain is the Submissive willing to experience?**

- Discuss with Dominant at all times.

**Does the Submissive consent to accept the following forms of pain/punishment and or punishment?**

Spanking?

Whipping?

Biting?

Genital Clamps?

Hot Wax?

Paddling?

Caning?

Nipple Clamps?

Ice?

Other types/methods of pain?

On the last page is a place for us both to sign and date it, I stare at it and then toss the papers aside as I let it sink it. So much information in those pages and so many things to think about, I know I can't sign it without asking a ton of questions. So I sit up and take the contract with me to my desk, I pull out my notebook and this time go through the contract point by point writing down all my questions.

**Availability**- the way this is written it sounds like you want me with you at all times or am I reading this wrong? And if I am to be with you at all times how shall I explain your presence in my life as you clearly told me before you are not my boyfriend.

**Location**- does this mean we will not always be at your place in your playroom?

**Dominant**-this entire section confuses me. You are going to look after my health and well being? And loaning me out to others, I was glad to see that clause but does that really happen?

**Submissive**- I do not like the term property as pertaining to me. I am a person not an object to be owned. I fully agree with the pregnancy clause but the touching myself? You want to control me even when we are not together?

**Activities of the Submissive**-more to the thought that you wish to control me even when we are apart. I would like to define exactly what you consider activities that are unsafe. I don't like the idea of being told what I can and cannot do outside of your playroom and I cannot drink unless given persmission?

**More Rules**- There is a lot to take in here but the last clause concerns me the most. Unless I am considered your girlfriend who can my behavior reflect back on you? And as for sexual relations with anyone else that is a non issue, does it really need to be put in print?

**Hard Limits**- just reading through that list terrified me, I agree that all of those things need to be off limits.

**Soft Limits**-this is going to be the longest part of my list.

**Masturbation**- you fail to mention who? Do you mean you masturbating me or me masturbating in front of you?

I readily consent to swallowing semen and vaginal intercourse.

**Bondage**-I believe we have already used ropes but the rest I am intrigued by. So that list gets a yes.

**Restraining**-I will leave this topic open to discussion as I do not know what a spreader bar is and the idea of suspension worries me.

Blindfolded is a yes, gagged is a definite no.

There I hit the punishment section and my lower body tightens as I read and reread the list. I am not sure if I am turned on or off by this list. Some of the things intrigue me while others just sound horrible like caning. Does that mean he will hit me with a cane? Then I remember seeing canes in his playroom, I can feel myself pale and I quickly write my notes on that section.

**Punishment**- this whole section scares me and there are going to be some definite nos.

Genital clamps-no damn way

Please explain the difference between spanking, whipping and paddling as they all seem similar to me.

Caning-nope, that would be a deal breaker.

And other methods? I would demand to know them up front.

I finish my list and peek at the time, shit! I didn't realize that I had spent hours poring over this. I quickly change and then grab my notebook and the contract heading out to my car. As I drive to his place my mind races, will he answer all my questions or will it be too much? Will he decide that I am not cut out to be a sub?

As I wait for him to answer the door I stare down at the notebook in my hand and wonder to myself if I am making the right choice in even considering this but as he opens the door I feel my knees tremble and my body remember last night. Without meaning to I whisper to him, "hello Master." A grin splits his face and he opens the door wider for me to enter.

"Good evening Victoria, you are early. I like my subs to punctual. It shows you are as eager as I am. Now did you sign the contract yet?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Standing in his doorway I shrink back a bit at his question making him laugh at me, "Victoria I was kidding. I am sure you have some questions for me before you sign that contract, in fact I would not accept you just signing it without us discussing it." He opens the door wide and invites me inside.

I walk into his apartment shaking my head, "That was mean, you had me going there for a moment and yes I have quite a few questions and comments before I decide if I will sign or not." I hold up my notebook and see an amused smile on his face. His eyes twinkle with green mischief at me while he leads me into his dining room. He has wine and food waiting for us.

We sit down and he encourages me to eat while we speak. "Let me see your list Victoria while you eat."

"What about you?" I ask as I open my notebook to show him my notes.

He takes it and gives me a wink, "I ate already, and I wanted to be ready to talk to you without interruption." I nod to him and dig into the food before me but I barely notice what I'm eating as my nerves start to kick in watching him read my notes. At first he does not comment but I see a grin play at the corner of his face before he looks up at me. "This is quite a detailed list; you spend some time reviewing the contract."

I swallow quickly and nod to him, "Yes I did, it's a serious decision and I don't take it lightly."

"Victoria I like that you are taking this seriously, our contract is very important to me. I want this to work, something about you." He reaches over and pours himself a glass of wine as he watches me. "When you are done eating, we will discuss this."

I take a drink of my wine nervously and finish eating what's on my plate then gaze at him, "I am ready but first you said something about me? What do you mean?"

He stands up taking my notebook with him and his wine glass, "Bring your glass and the wine bottle. We will be more comfortable in here." He leads us into his living room and we sit down on the couch, I feel shy next to him and not sure how to discuss these things with him face to face but then he lunges at me kissing me hard pulling me to sit on his lap facing him. I moan against his lips as he pulls me down hard, I can feel him hard pushing against me. His breathing is raspy as he speaks, "you want to know what I mean?" He kisses me again, and then he pulls my hair hard making me cry out as he kisses my neck biting at me softly, "You entice me, you enchant me and after last night all I can think about is you. I want you in every way possible Victoria that is why I didn't wait to contact you. You are in my every thought." I close my eyes and listen to his words then moan again as he thrusts up against me. I hear him groan as I grind my hips back so I can feel him hard against me again. His breath hisses in and he lets go of my hair, "Damn you tempt me, I want to fuck you senseless right here and now but we have to discuss this contract first." He gently pushes me off his lap to sit next to him. "Now let's tear through this as I want you in my playroom within the hour Victoria." His green eyes pierce into me making me instantly wet and wanting, I nod to him and listen as he starts to read through my questions. "**Availability**- the way this is written it sounds like you want me with you at all times or am I reading this wrong? And if I am to be with you at all times how shall I explain your presence in my life as you clearly told me before you are not my boyfriend." I listen as he reads and wait for his comments. He clears his throat then begins, "You are correct that I am not your boyfriend, I am your Dom but you are right that I want you with me all the time. If you need to tell people that I am your boyfriend to avoid questions that is alright with me."

My heart races that he admits to wanting me with him all the times, "Okay I can live with that and I am wide open to you. I work from home so whenever you want me Robert I can be here."

He flashes me a grin and moves to read the next question, "**Location**- does this mean we will not always be at your place in your playroom?" He laughs and shakes his head, "we will not always be in my playroom, is that a problem?"

"Where else would we be?"

"I might take you out to dinner or to play somewhere else. There are many fun places I can show you."

I stare at him, "wait if we are out in public how am I to behave? You would not expect me to call you Master out in the open would you?"

"No, out in public I would be Robert but you would still be expected to behave as my sub and follow all directions including submitting to whatever I tell you no matter where we are." His voice seems flirty as he looks at me for my reaction. I grin at that and the thought of playing naughty games out in public making me squirm a bit. I nod my consent to that and he laughs. "I take that nod as you consent to this?"

"Consent yes, please move on. Time is wasting Master."

He raises an eyebrow at me then smirks, "Someone is anxious to be in my playroom I think. Good, I like you eager to please. Now stop distracting me or you will earn your first punishment Victoria." I bite my lip and nod waiting for him to move to the next question. "**Dominant**-this entire section confuses me. You are going to look after my health and well being? And loaning me out to others, I was glad to see that clause but does that really happen?" He leans back and sighs, "I am not your boyfriend or your husband but in a way I am. I will care for you as my own. If you are sick I will see to your care and if you need anything you will come to me. You are mine; I take care of what is mine. Does that answer this question?"

"I want to be yours; I just didn't realize how in depth our relationship was going to be."

"The vows you will take are to serve, to obey and to submit to me. I vow to train, to protect and to care for you."

"I think I am beginning to understand."

"Victoria I know this is confusing and very different but look at normal relationships. How often do they fail? I see them falling apart around me daily. Mostly they fail because of lack of communication; our relationship is going to be wide open and upfront. We will both know what is expected of each other, there is less chance of hurting each other that way but do not confuse this with being in love. I care about you yes but there are boundaries."

I sit up slightly offended by his action and reach for my wine downing the rest of it, "I don't know you enough to love you."

He puts one hand on my arm, "Don't drink too much; I won't continue this if you do. I need you sober as we speak and do not get offended. Victoria if I did not care about you I would not be here wanting to touch you and worrying about protecting you."

I nod and put my glass down, "I'm sorry. This is just harder than I thought it would be."

"If you don't want to do this you need to just say so. Victoria I want you but I won't force you to be my sub. You have to consent freely. Shall we continue or not?"

"I didn't say I don't want too, I am sure that I do. Please continue." I pull at my hair as I wait for him to continue on.

He puts the contract down for a moment then pulls me close to kiss me, "I think you have been thinking about this too much. If you become my sub I will make the decisions and you will obey. You can relax Victoria and let me take care of you. I will never hurt you. Do you trust me?"

Kissing him back I nod, "I do trust you. I don't know why but I have trusted you since I first saw you."

He grinned at that then handed me the notebook, "you read now and I will answer. Remember still dying here to touch you." He takes my hand pushing it over his lap. I can feel his cock hard straining against his jeans and I close my fingers around it. He moans and whispers to me, "Good girl, you may continue that as you read."

I laugh and keep my fingers caressing him through his jeans as I look at my next question, "**Submissive**- I do not like the term property as pertaining to me. I am a person not an object to be owned. I fully agree with the pregnancy clause but the touching myself? You want to control me even when we are not together?"

He shakes his head and looks at me, "You are mine. I will always call you that but if the term bothers you I can amend that in the contract. And….." He thrust his hips up so his hardness grinds against my hand, "you will be mine always wherever you may be so you will not touch yourself unless I am present. I want to be a part of all your pleasure from this moment on."

I hated him wanting to own me but hearing that he wants to be a part of all my pleasure turns me on more than I expected. I nod and then look at that next question, "**Activities of the Submissive**-more to the thought that you wish to control me even when we are apart. I would like to define exactly what you consider activities that are unsafe. I don't like the idea of being told what I can and cannot do outside of your playroom and I cannot drink unless given permission?"

He groans as I continue stroking him then answers me, "You will not smoke. You will not drink unless I am present and even then you will not get drunk. I do not want you going out alone last at night by yourself. I want you safe bottom line."

"I do not smoke and I can live with the drinking." I grin to myself at his protective tone and then move on, "**More Rules**- There is a lot to take in here but the last clause concerns me the most. Unless I am considered your girlfriend how can my behavior reflect back on you? And as for sexual relations with anyone else that is a non issue, does it really need to be put in print?"

"When it comes to our relationship I want everything upfront and in print. That is just my way and I want it know you are mine. You will not be touched by another as long as you are." His answers are exactly what I wanted to hear and as he continues to grind his hardness against my hand I am having trouble staying focused. I almost drop my notebook as he smirks at me. "Next question, you seem to be having trouble. Do you always struggle this much with your research?"

"Damn you would make fun of me." I take a deep breath and laugh at him, "When I do my research I do not have a gorgeous man tempting me."

His eyes gleam with green passion, "I tempt you? You just wait baby I have such plans for you. Now move on before I can't control myself anymore."

I take a deep breath and quickly read the next question. I realize we are moving in Soft Limits and I bite my lip. "**Masturbation**- you fail to mention who? Do you mean you masturbating me or me masturbating in front of you?"

He looks down at my hand on his cock and smirks, "I think we have answered that. After what I did to you last night and your hand on me now. That is all of the above baby; I can't wait to watch you touch yourself."

I smirk then nod, "yeah yeah, next question. **Restraining**-I will leave this topic open to discussion as I do not know what a spreader bar is and the idea of suspension worries me."

"Baby I will show you each toy before I use it on you, and you say yellow once we stop."

"Okay Robert I can deal with that then, next. Fuck, punishments. First why do you need to punish me?"

He sighs at that, "Because I will be training you. When you do things right you will be rewarded but when you do not, you will be punished. Punishments will help you learn the right ways quicker."

"But I'm terrified of you punishing me. What I saw…" I let my voice trail off remembering the images I saw on my online search.

"Baby I can just imagine what you saw but I won't ever punish you to hurt you. It's just to make you see what is right and wrong. It more to give you a reminder of what not to do again." He pushes my hand off him and turns to look at me. "You said you trust me. I won't hurt you."

I gaze up at him when he pushes my hand away and nod, "I do trust you but reading this. I don't know that I want to be punished, it all sounds awful."

"Baby have you ever been spanked by a lover?"

"No, I have never been spanked, paddled or whipped but that doesn't mean I want to start."

"I think I know what you need." He stands up and grabs my hand. I let him pull me up and then follow him. I know where we are heading…the playroom.

He hits the lights and we are in the playroom. He brings me to a part of the room I didn't see clearly before. Along the wall are all kinds of things. I recognize the canes and whips but the rest look like foreign objects to me. "Victoria I want you to feel these items and get to know them. I want you to understand what a punishment might be."

I back a few steps from him, "feel them? Are you going to punish me now?"

"No silly girl I am not, come here. Sit down in that chair." I eye the chair and swallow hard. It's covered in harnesses and ties that I am not ready to have on me. I sit down on the edge of the seat and wait for his instructions. "Victoria baby, you look terrified. Trust me; I am not planning to punish you." He grabs a few things and comes to sit between my legs. He places a paddle in my hand. I stare at it, it's not as hard as it looks and one side is soft. "Trust me baby." I nod and he takes my hand with the paddle in it. He lightly drags the paddle up and down the inside my thigh. My hand in his as we stroke me with the paddle has me reeling. First it's the hard side then he turns it so it's the soft side. A soft moan escapes my lips; I had not expected it to be a turn on. His eyes are a soft glowing green as he stares at me. "See it's not that bad baby."

I nod at him but then whisper, "you would be hitting me with it, not like this." He takes the paddle and still with both our hands on it brings it down hard on my thigh; I wince but then notice a strange reaction. I feel wet and excited. I nod to him. "Okay the soft side I can handle but you said whips too?"

He leave the paddle in my hand as he stands up grabbing a whip from the wall as he comes back I feel my legs shaking. "Baby you look terrified again, I am not going to use this on you right now. Hear just touch it." He sinks back between my legs lying the whip over my one thigh. I shake my head but a raise of his eyebrow makes me obey, "Yes Master."

"Good girl." He does the same thing with the whip putting his hand over mine and moving it up and down my thighs. I gaze over at him and then moan as he grazes my clit with the whip's handle.

"But you won't be doing this with it, you will be hitting me."

"But if you behave I won't need to and I have a feeling you are a good girl. Don't let the fear of punishments scare you off baby. You might like a good spanking with this." He holds up his hand.

All of the sudden I just start giggling at him, "I might like a good spanking huh? Maybe you should give me one and we find out."

His eyes light up and he leans closer to me, "well I did have an idea for our first playroom scene. Did you want to play?"

I swallow hard and look at him, "you have a scene ready for us?"

"I said I couldn't wait to get you in here but first did I answer all your questions?"

Staring down at him between my legs I think back to the contract and his answers to my questions. What the hell is it about this man? I can't think straight when I am around him. All I can think about it how much I want him and I am lost in memories of last night. His touch on me and how much I want more of that, I want more of him but am I willing to give up control to him? Is this longing I feel for him strong enough to make the rest not matter? I take a deep breath, "Robert you did answer all my questions and I want you….so much I want you."

"Why do I feel a but coming on?" He kneels up resting his hands on my thighs."

"But I am scared of giving up myself to you, I do trust you but I just don't know."

"Victoria baby look at me, you are not going to be powerless. As a sub you actually have more control that you think. You will be the one giving me the green light to proceed or the red light to end the show. Anytime you feel uncomfortable you can stop me no matter what we are doing, not just in here. You say yellow or red to me and I will be hands off wanting to know what you need in a heartbeat."

"I thought that you controlled me."

"I will be the one in control for the most part but think of it this way baby I am the gas but you are the brakes. You can stop me at anytime."

"I…I…" I stammer trying to find the words while he moves up kissing me again.

"Stop over thinking this. It's not a research project that you need to come up with a definite answer and report on. It's a work in progress baby; we will figure it out together. I am sorry if that contract scared you but in my experience its best to lay out your hand before you get in too deep. I don't want to you to get hurt, if I warn you of my ways up front you know what to expect."

"Robert I want you, but what if I can't be a sub?"

"Victoria, you are sub material. Remember at the bar? I was testing you, I gave you a command right at first and you almost instantly obeyed. Baby you are over thinking this. Here let me help." He pulls me up out the chair and then brings me to his bed. Kissing me hard he pushes me on my back on the bed and brings himself to grind hard against me. As heat from his touch rushes through me I feel myself aching for more. I move my hands to touch him but he orders me not to touch him. Without a thought I drop my arms to my sides and continue kissing him. He stops kissing me and then smirks at me, "for not thinking you can be a sub you obey well. You want me; I want you, say yes. Give us a chance." He kisses me again and grinds on me making me moan softly against his lips. "I can feel how much you want me, remember last night. If you want me to touch you like that again Victoria just say the word."

I gaze at him and whisper, "yes."

"Baby I like you loud, say that again."

"Yes."

"Yes what?" He demands pushing me down harder on the bed grinding on me once more. I can feel his cock straining to be let out and I fight the urge to wrap my legs around him.

"Yes Master, I want you."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes Master, I do."

"Good now do you want to make it official?"

"Yes I want to sign the contract. I want to be yours." I breathe in heavy staring at him as he nods. He kisses my nose softly then moves away from me.

"Victoria then from this moment on you are mine, so my next question to you is this…" I sit up staring at him. My body is reeling from his touch and confused that he moved away. "Are you ready to play?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

He asks if I want to play and my whole body shudders at the thought, "Yes Master, I do."

"Then Victoria let the training begin. I am going to grab a few things but I want you naked kneeling next to that bed in two minutes." I hop up at once and take off my clothes putting them neatly on the table by the bed then I kneel next to the bed gazing around the room. As he comes back into the room he stops in front of me, "Rule Number 1, eyes down. Do not look at me unless given permission." I nod quietly and look down at the floor at once. "Good girl. Next rule, you will be naked here waiting for me unless given other instructions. If I have a scene in mind I will give you directions and your outfit once we enter this room, do you understand?"

I breathe in deep trying to hold back my excitement, scenes? My mind is reeling wondering what he might have in mind. "Yes Master."

"Good girl, Victoria you have no idea how delicious you look like that. You make me want to just take you now but I have something planned." He moves across the room and I'm dying to peek but I don't want to disobey him. "Come here Victoria." I stand up slowly keeping my eyes down; I walk over to where he stands. We are in the middle of the room. "From tonight on you are in training, you will not speak in this room unless you are spoken to and given permission to reply." I nod to him in obedience to his words then he lifts my chin so I am looking up at him, "Very good but there is one expectation to this rule, you will tell me when you are close to cumming and I will tell you yes or no. If I tell you no and you cum anyway you will be punished." I gaze into his bright green eyes and nod again. I see a grin spread across his face and he leans forward to kiss my neck then whispers into my ear, "So now let's play." My breath catches as I nod once more. He lets go of my chin so I lower my gaze to the floor once more. Taking a hold of one of my hands he suddenly pulls it up, I feel him fasten a soft fur-lined cuff around my wrist. Then he fastens it to a cable making my arm stay up. As he does the same to the other he speaks quietly, "Tonight I want to experiment with some of my favorite toys just to see your reaction. I want you like this so I can see all of you and drink in your response. I am going to blindfold Victoria as I want you focused on your pleasure not your panic as you see what I am going to do." I nod and try to get use to this weird position with both my arms suspended over my head. Then I feel him kneeling and his hands on my ankles, he fastens the soft cuffs to each one. I feel my legs being pulled slightly apart as he tightens the cables. "Damn baby you look so good, okay now before I blindfold you need to tell me your safe words one more time.

"Yellow and red Master." I stare in his eyes until the blackness of the blindfold covers my eyes while I wait anxiously wondering what he will do to me. I can tell he has moved, I hear small noises like he is digging in a drawer then I hear soft music fill the room. I grin as I recognize the song; it's the Ne-Yo song that was playing at the club when we met. I sway my hips to the music till I hear him laugh softly.

"Victoria, you like this song?" I nod to him still grinning. "Okay babe, let the music relax you. I am ready." With that I suddenly feel something soft drag across my left shoulder. It is soft like fur. I feel like soft and tickly moving up the inside of one arm then he moves it down the other arm. I moan softly as he moves it down to tease my nipples. "You like that don't you, Victoria...tell me."

"Yes Master." I moan again as he moves it lower and lower tickling and teasing me until he moves it one of my thighs then the other completely avoiding my wet dripping core even though I move my hips forward wanting and begging him to touch me there without a word.

"You want me to touch you here..." I feel his palm hard against my clit making me jump. I nod and he moves his palm only to bring it hard there again. I bite my lip as my legs shake. "I can see you like that Victoria. Will you come if I do that again?"

"Master, I will. I am very close."

"No, you will not cum yet do you hear me?"

He brings his palm there again just as hard and I cry out my answer, "Yes Master." Then he moves his palm and I feel the soft fur tickling and teasing my wet clit and lips down there. The softness after his hard touch makes me shiver; I did not expect it to feel so good. It makes me moan again and I feel the urge returning and I whine, "I need to cum please Master."

The softness disappears and his palm is back hard against my clit making me cry out and he does it again. Then I hear finally the words I need, "Come now Victoria," just as his palm slaps my clit hard. I scream out and cum so hard my knees tremble. I fall forward only my restraints holding me up. "Such a good girl, look at that. You liked that didn't you?" I nod breathlessly and feel his palm rubbing my wetness, "Next toy, are you okay to continue Victoria?"

I nod at once and then his touch disappears. Another song starts but I am so lost in what he is doing I can't focus on the music. I hear a soft buzzing then suddenly I feel my nipples vibrating. I moan, "You like that that is just a small vibrator." I nod and feel my nipples harden painfully as he teases them over and over then finally start to trail it down my stomach but unlike last time he doesn't avoid my core. He brings the vibrator straight to my clit and rests it there. "That is low speed Victoria; I want you to tell me how that feels."

I nod and try to find my voice, "Argh it feels so good, tingling and making me want to cum again Master."

"No," he growls at me slapping my clit with his palm making me shudder. "Not yet." I nod and he brings the vibrator back to trace over my lips then slowly eases it into me. My legs tremble again and I cry out. "Victoria, how does that feel?" I am lost in sensation and can't answer; when I don't answer right away I feel the vibration kick up higher making me cry out rocking my hips against it. "Answer me now or it will be on high power and you will be spanked it you come."

I cry out, "It feel amazing Master. I want to cum again, please."

The vibrator starts to buzz harder, almost violently inside me making me scream again. I scream at him that I need to cum and he growls at me, "Now Victoria." He suddenly puts the vibrator on its highest power against my clit making me explode at once. I hear him groan and I feel I have done something wrong but then he whispers, "Watching you cum, damn Victoria. You have me aching to fuck you even more now. You are so wet, so fucking wet. Baby I want you now." The vibrator disappears and I can't hear it anymore, but I can feel him close to me. I feel his warm breath on my face and the nearness of his body. I shudder knowing how close he is, "Victoria, I am going to fuck you now but I won't be gentle. Safe word if you need." Before I can nod I feel his cock pushing between my legs making me hold my breath. As he slips inside me I cry out, he is larger than I have ever had before making my body ache as it stretches out for him. Once he is buried inside me I feel his hands on my ass holding me close. It hurts as I feel my body adapting to his size but at the same time feeling this close to him is worth the pain. I feel him pulling at my legs but I don't move them at first, "Put your legs around my waist." I shake my head and hear him hiss at me, I move a leg and realize he must have let the cords go holding them in place. I quickly wrap both legs around him and moan, it makes him that much deeper inside me. It is the strangest feeling my arms still up over my head while he pounds into me harder and harder.

My body is on the edge and his size makes him hit my back walls with every move, "Oh fuck Master, I'm going to cum."

I feel him bite at my shoulder then he groans, "cum for me."

I obey and explode again, my body contracting around him as I shake hard. I scream out then my left arm falls forward, then my right. I am still blindfolded as I instinctly wrap my arms around him. I feel us moving and then my back hits the cold wall behind me. I cry out as he starts pounding in me again while his hands push my thighs wide open. I can feel his cock so deep inside and the smell of sex heavy in the air. The sounds of our bodies...slapping into each other over and over makes me moan again. "Master..." I can't finish my sentence as I will myself not to cum again till he says so.

"I know baby, cum for me." I let myself go and once again contract wildly around him but this time I feel him drench my walls with his hot release making us both scream out. We are both panting as he tugs off the blindfold. I blink at the bright light. The first thing my eyes focus on is his face, it's flushed and sweaty. Looking at him like that make me shiver in his arms. "Are you okay Victoria? I didn't hurt you?"

"No Master, I am not hurt."

"You are shivering."

"I know, but I am not hurt."

He laughs and leans forward kissing me while we are still joined as one. "You did so well baby, so well."

I grin and kiss him back hard. Without taking his cock from my body he carries me to the bed and gently lies down pushing deep inside me still. I look up at him and moan pushing my hips up wanting him to stay buried inside me.

His eyes light up and he leans down whispering to me, "you giving me the green light to fuck you more Victoria?" I nod but he growls at me, "tell me what you want."

"Master I want you, more of you."

"Shall I fuck you again for your reward?" He stares at me still inside me and I can feel him starting to grow hard again.

"Oh yes please Master."

"Good girl, as you wish but." He pulls out of me and motions to me to turn over, "I want to fuck you doggy style." I hiss in a breath and can't move fast enough to change position. As I look over my shoulder the song changes and Usher's Scream fills the room.

"I see you over there so hypnotic,Thinkin' 'bout what I'd do to that body."

He pushes his cock deep inside me and taking hold of my hips start to fuck me deep and hard.

"Got no drink in my hand, but I'm wasted

Gettin' drunk off the thought of you naked...And I've tried to fight it, to fight it

But you're so magnetic, magnetic

Got one life, just live it, just live it

Now relax and get on your back"

I get lost in him and the song. We move in rhymn to the song pounding harder and harder together making me cry out again and again. I rock on my knees back hard against him while his hands clench my hips as he slams his cock into me hitting my walls hard each time. The song makes my shudder as it makes me want to lose myself in the moment and just scream.

"If you wanna scream yeah,

Let me know and I'll take you there"

Echoes in my head as he moves harder and deeper. I cry out and buck back against him over and over, and then he slaps my ass hard making me shiver again. Sensing I like that he slaps me again harder this time and I cry out louder.

"A-ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby

If you want it done right

Hope you're ready to go all night,

If you wanna scream""

I can't believe it but each time he slaps my ass I feel my body respond. My legs tighten and I feel myself soaking him as I become more and more aroused. It's like the most amazing rush. I shock myself by begging him for more.

"I knew my girl would like to be spanked.""

As he slaps me harder I scream out and the song again fills my head, "if you want it done right hope you're ready to go all night" I scream out at him that I need to cum.

"Drown me baby." I obey and launch into an intense orgasm that makes me fall forward on the bed unable to support myself any longer. I hear his groan and then he pulls my ass up in the air pounding harder and harder. The song finishes loud as we both scream out.

"If you wanna scream

Out, Louder, scream, louder, louder, louder, louder,

Hey tonight I scream, I'm on need

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooh

Yeah,

Let me know and I'll take you there

Get you going like a-ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby

A-ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby

If you want it done right

Hope you're ready to go all night,

Get you going like a-ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby

A-ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby

If you wanna scream"

He lets loose and his rush into me makes me scream out one last time before he collapses forward on me. We both lie panting, not speaking just trying to recover. I feel myself drifting off into a peaceful and sated sleep as he moves to lie next to me. I wake up a few hours later feeling him stir next to me; he leans over rubbing my shoulder to wake me. "Victoria, do you want to stay with me tonight?" I turn my head yawning and nod to him. He laughs, "I wiped you out? Well good baby you did me too but I don't sleep in here. Come on baby." I yawn again and let him pull me up. To my surprise he sweeps me off my feet carrying me out of the playroom. I lean my head against his shoulder my eyes fluttering open and shut.

That is my last memory of the playroom that night until I wake up with him wrapped tight against me. I blink confused; I don't know where I am. I gaze around as much as I can without moving so I don't wake him. The room is just beginning to be bathed in the first rays of the morning light. I realize I must be in his bedroom. He moves behind me and I laugh, "good morning Master."

"Baby, we are not in the playroom, call me Rob."

Rob, then will you call me Vi?"

His laughter fills the room, "Okay fine Vi it is. How are you this morning?"

I stretch out and then grin at him, "I feel pretty good." I frown as I see him seriously studying my body. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No baby I am just looking for bruises, I don't normally fuck a sub on the first night but I just could not wait any longer for you."

I gaze at him, "why?"

"Vi, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I am very strong, there is a good chance I could have injured you.

"I am fine, see...all good." I roll over to gaze at him holding out both arms.

He nods, "I am glad, I would have been very upset if you were not. Now, are you hungry?"

My stomach growls in response and I laugh, "I am."

"Off to the kitchen with you, go and find something to eat. I will be along in a minute."

I nod and stand up then gaze at him, "Should I go to the playroom and get my dress?"

"No way baby naked is how you stay. If you are cold let me know, I will turn up the heat but I want to see your gorgeous body while you are with me." I blush bright red at his words and nod, then I head to the bathroom before I go to the kitchen. I am a bit achy in places and my legs shudder as I remember last night. I try to fix my hair before I head to the kitchen. I am eating some granola and drinking juice when Rob walks in naked as well talking on his cell phone. I just stare at him until he catches me and gives me a naughty smirk. He pats my ass hard as he passes by to look in the fridge. I laugh softly and wait for him to get off the phone. He finally finishes and sits down at the kitchen bar next to me, he take a drink of his juice smirking at me. "I forgot to tell you that cleaning up the playroom after our scene is part of your job baby so this time I will help you and show you where things go. Ready?"

I down the rest of my juice and nod. I put my dishes in the sink then follow him back to the playroom. He shows me where there is a small bathroom hidden in one corner of the playroom I did not see. In it is a small washer and dryer that we put the bed sheets in. He shows me how to clean the vibrator we used and explains to me where the cleaners and things are. I listen intently and nod to him. Then he shows me the drawers, I am overwhelmed by all the things I see there. He laughs and tells me not to worry I will soon learn what goes where. "You are a very good teacher Rob."

"And you Vi, are an excellent student. You are a natural sub, you obey without thinking." He grins at me as we finish up then we head into the shower together as he washes my back I peek over at him making him laugh at me. "Vi, you are a cute little thing. You tempt me in ways you should not." He slaps my ass as the water runs over us and I jump.

"Isn't tempting you a good thing?" I reach out my hand for the soap and motion for him to turn so I can wash his back next.

"You are smart too, maybe too smart. You tempt me and make me want to do all kinds of naughty things to you but I want to take our time. I want to have you with me for a long time baby." He leans back against me and I nod.

Later out of our shower I start to put on my dress but hear him come up behind me. "Here baby, I have clean clothes here for you and you can bring over whatever you need." Toweling off quickly I slip into the clothes he has given me. The bra and panty are a beautiful lacy black and the jeans fit perfectly. The shirt is a soft sky blue that I slip over my head then blush as I see him watching me. In his eyes is a sad look, I raise my eyebrow at him and he nods to me. "Forgive me; watching you get dressed reminds me that you have to leave. I want you to stay but I understand if you can't."

"Rob I have some work to do but I can be back later, if you want."

He towels off his hair then grins at me, "how about you bring your work here?"

I blink at him, "you want me to bring that here?"

"I like having you near Vi, I can't explain it. Will you?" He moves toward me making my heart beat faster as I stare in those green eyes again. How can I get any work done with him near? All I will want to do is stare at him and remember our night but how can I tell him no? My mind is a blur; I am beginning to think that I am a true submissive for all I want to do is please him. I nod to him but then I hear him growl at me, "Vi I want to hear you, will you spend the day here with me?"

"Yes Rob, I will. Let me run back to my house and grab my laptop." He nods to me then kisses me hard. I leave his place breathless and head back to my apartment.

At my place I am gathering up my work stuff when the door bells goes off, I call out for Kari to answer the door. She doesn't answer and the ringing continues. I sigh and head to answer it myself. As I open the door I just stare and growl, "what the hell do you want?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

An ex is gone from your life in some ways but never gone completely. They linger in the corners of your world to remind you of what you once had, the promises that were made and all the plans you had. When I stare at my ex-husband all I see is failure. The memories of our first meeting when the sparks flew and he made me grin ear to ear are overshadowed with the memories of our last meeting when I awkwardly told him I was leaving and I closed the door on us. We had so many high moments, the day he proposed to me at our favorite restaurant with a ring that took my breath away to our wedding, a sea of our loved ones watching us say I do but it didn't last. I look at him and it all comes back the lack of communication, the unwilling to compromise and the pain it all caused. I hate seeing him, I hate thinking of him and right now I hate him standing in my doorway smirking at me. "Edward I asked what the hell do you want." I hold the door tight behind me not wanting to let him come inside the apartment.

"Vicks, we need to talk." Edward moves closer to me staring at me with those dark blue eyes of his making me take a step back. Eyeing him I have to admit at least I have good taste. My ex is over 6 feet tall with piercing blue eyes, light brown hair and a body that women have to stare at. I have been asked many times why I let that go and in a word, miscommunication. We could never talk and share our thoughts. He wanted me to give up work and start having babies right away but that was never my dream at this age. I loved our life as it was just the two of us but he wanted more and when I didn't give it to him it caused an unfixable rift in our relationship.

"The last time we talked you tried to come on to me again Edward." I raised my eyebrow at him still holding onto the door still hoping to get the door shut behind me and him gone. "I don't want to go through this again."

Flashing me his smirky grin again Edward moved forward forcing me to move back until he was able to walk into the apartment. I groan and let out a deep sigh as he sits down on the couch eyeing me. "Like I said we need to talk, Kari called me."

"What the fuck?" I plop down hard on the couch. "She calls and you run. Edward, I am not yours to protect anymore."

He leans his head to the side watching me then pulls out his cell phone. He opens it to something then tosses it at me. I catch it and read through the messages between him and Kari.

"Edward, I need your help."

"Kari, are you okay?"

"It's not me, its VI."

"What's going on?"

"She is making a huge mistake."

"You will need to tell me more than that."

"Look up submissive/dominant relationships, then text me back."

I notice a twenty minute gap in the messages and curse to myself knowing he did just that and then immediately texted her back.

"WTF."

"Exactly, she is getting into something bad."

"Is she really into this?"

"E, she signed a contract."

"A contract?"

"Yes a contract, can't explain in text, call me."

"Dialing now."

I roll my eyes and toss the cell back at him, "okay so why do you care?"

Edward moves like a blur to suddenly be kneeling next to me, "Victoria you know I still love you. You might not be mine anymore but I will not let you be used."

"Stop you don't know anything. It's not like that."

"Oh really, so what I read on the internet is not true? You are not a submissive who will be beaten or tied up?" He takes my hand trying to hold it but I pull it away.

"Edward I cannot and will not explain my choices to you." I cross my arms over my chest to prevent him from trying to hold my hand again. "Just leave me alone."

"No, I still love you. I won't just watch you make a horrible mistake. You are so smart so why are you acting so damn dumb right now?"

I growl at him, "That's it, get the fuck out now." I stand up and point to the door glaring at him. "You lost the right to protect me the day you tried to make my decisions for me, remember?" My words are loud as I rage at him remembering the day he informed that he wanted our first child conceived as soon as possible. "You need to go find someone who wants you to knock her up and depend on you for everything. That's not me. Just get out now."

We hear a cough from behind me as I stand pointing at the door, its Kari. Her eyes are dark and she moves to stand between us. "He is my guest; last time I checked it's my apartment too."

I blink in disbelief, "you little bitch, you know how much it hurts me to have him here. To bring him into this? You can both go to hell, I will leave then." I stomp across to my room and start throwing clothes into a suitcase then my cell phone goes off. I pull it out to see a message from Rob.

"Babe where are you?"

"Rob sorry, I am coming back."

"I hope so but are you ok?"

"No but I will be."

"You should be back by now."

"I know, I am leaving in 5."

"Victoria, I want an explanation."

Shit I think to myself seeing how he changed into his Dom mode on me. I have no choice as a good sub but to obey him. How can I manage to describe this mess in a text message? I bite my lip then curse to myself, I can't.

"Master I will do so gladly but I can't explain in text. Can I please tell you in person when I return?"

"Yes you may. Are you on your way now?"

I am leaving as soon as I can Master."

"Very good, text me when you are on your way Victoria."

The cell goes off for the last time as I am gathering up clothes, I turn to read it and almost run into Edward standing in my doorway. He has a dazed look in his blue eyes, "I am not letting you go running off to him."

"You are not stopping me, you have no right." I move to push past him but he blocks my door and will not move. "Edward please if you don't want to lose what little friendship there is left between us, just move."

Pulling me against him by my arms he frowns at me, "can't you see that I have no choice? Part of me will always love and protect you. I regret losing you every day. You are all I ever wanted."

"Edward stop we have been through this…over and over. We both want different things and…" I glare at him, "let me go now. I have heard about your new girlfriend, what's her name? I wonder if she would be hurt to know you are here saying all these things to me right now."

His grip on my arms tightens making me drop the things I have in my hands as he glares back at me, "Her name is Bella. I have known her for a minute compared to you." As we glare into each other's eyes my cell goes off again breaking the silence. Edward reaches into my pocket without permission pulling it out despite my protests. He starts reading it without a word.

"Edward how dare you read my messages, phone back to me right fucking now." I hiss at him trying to grab it back but he turns his back to me still reading.

"You call him Master? Victoria, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?" He sighs and hands me my cell finally, "your Master is upset you are not there yet."

I snatch the phone and glance at it quickly to read Rob's latest message.

"Victoria, you did not text back. You should be here by now, call now or I am coming to collect you."

My mind freaks out, Rob here now? With Edward here and Kari too….both of them pissed off, no way. I have to call him now; I sigh then look at Edward. He is just standing there as if dazed by what he read. "Do you mind?" He doesn't move so I figure fuck him and dial Rob. Its rings only once before I hear him answer.

"Victoria, you are not okay are you?" His voice sounds strained, almost worried.

"I am fine, I promise. Sorry there have just been complications Master. I am leaving now." I stare at Edward wishing he would go away as I speak.

"You have me worried, if you need me to come and pick you up I will."

In his words I hear a softness that makes me forget about Edward standing next to me. I smile, "No Master, I will be fine to drive. Just gathering up the things I need."

"Okay but Victoria," I hear him clear his throat then the warm tone comes back, "Vi, please drive carefully."

As his tone warms up again I nod as I answer him, "Rob I will, I promise. I will see you very soon."

"Victoria, wait." I cringe hearing him go back to my full name but then he continues, "I mean Vi, take your time and baby you should eat before you come back. It's lunchtime now." I glance at the clock and nod then laugh at myself when I realize he can't hear that.

"I will be safe; I will eat lunch, any more orders?" I laugh softly waiting for his answer.

He laughs too, god I love that sound. "Yeah baby, since you mentioned it, bring a dress with you. I think we might go out later."

"I will do that."

Bye Vi, see you soon."

I whisper out a goodbye to him then gaze at my closet. I am looking for a dress when Edward clears his throat loudly so I turn to gaze at him, "what?"

"Vicky what the hell is going on?" Edward moves to sit on my bed just watching me and I know he is not leaving anytime soon. I pull out my favorite purple dress to add to my suitcase.

"What does it look like, I'm packing." I move to grab my suitcase but remember the sexy purple corset I bought to wear with this dress so I head to my dresser to find it after I toss my dress onto the bed.

Edward looks at it sadly, "I always loved you in this dress. Do you still have the necklace I bought you to wear with it?"

I stop with the lingerie in my hands to shake my head at him. "Edward please I can't do this again. No more trips down memory lane today."

"I just asked a question; does it bring up bad memories?"

"That was the last gift you bought me before we fell apart, you gave me that on the night you dropped your bombshell on me." I glare at him then reach over to my jewelry box. The necklace he is talking about it right there on top. Its two silver hearts joined and where they connect is a dark purple stone. I toss it at him, "you can have it back."

"Damn it, that was a gift. I don't want it back." He tosses it back at me but I let it land on the dresser untouched. Without a word I go back to packing then I remember with the dress I will need heels. I head back to my closet again but Edward's words stop me, "do you have any good memories of us?"

"Why do you want to do this right now?"

"You don't remember what today is?"

I stare at him and then shrug, "Its Friday."

"It would have been our second wedding anniversary."

"Edward, we have been apart for almost nine months so no it would not have been."

"In my heart it would be, you kept my name so I thought…" His voice dies off and I cringe.

"Wait we discussed that too, it was only because my writing took off while we were married and I didn't want to lose the momentum with a name change. I'm sorry Edward if you thought it meant more."

"Oh that's right, your writing." I hear the bitter edge in his words and I sigh.

I sit down on the bed next to him, "Edward we both want different things. We have talked this forward and back, I love you. I do but I can't be happy with you or you with me. You want thing I don't."

"Vicky we can work on all that, I can wait." He gives me a hopeful smile then slowly moves a bit closer to me.

I jerk away, "No! I won't hurt us both again. You want and deserve to have a family."

"What if I only want that with you?" His blue eyes are bright as he stares into mine making me sigh again.

"And what if I never want that?"

Reaching for my hand Edward sighs, "You always say that. Someday you will but that answers my question. It's not me that you are meant to be with."

This time I don't pull my hand away from him but I bristle at his words, "you still believe in the whole meant to be thing? I don't think I do."

"Vicky don't say that, listen to me you will find someone who you want to be with no matter what. You will want to have a family with him and so much more." Edward gives me a small smile but ten frowns, "which is why none of us want to see you give yourself to be treated like a whore."

"For the last damn time, he doesn't treat me like a whore. There is no money left by the bed and I don't know what you read but it's not like that at all."

"What I saw looked like women being treated like pets or objects to be used then abused."

"I can't fully explain it but it's not." I shake my head and remember the search I did on submissive. There is so much out there that I know what Edward has seen but I know it's so much more, I just don't know how to explain it without revealing more of myself than I want to right now.

"Well until I see differently I am worried about you and no matter what you do you will always be special to me. You are my first love and my first wife."

As his words hit me I have a thought what if I put up a site, a blog site about a true submissive/dominant relationship and what it is really like. I nod to Edward trying to process his words and my thoughts at the same time. I smile at him, "You know you are always going to be important to me as well."

"So can I at least take you to lunch before you head off to your Master?" He smirks at me making me laugh as I nod.

"Fine I guess but no more trips down memory lane."

I quickly text Rob that I'm off to lunch then headed his way. At lunch Edward and I only talk about my latest work project and his new place. It's a light easy conversation and puts me in a good mood but I am still upset with my roommate. I text her that we need to talk before I drive over to Rob's place. I hit send and then drive to his place. When I finally arrive at his place I have all my work gear and my suitcase, he opens the door grinning then eyes my suitcase, "moving in?"

I blush bright red and look down in horror, I meant to leave that in my car. I stammer at him not sure what to say, "Uhm, no. It's a long story."

"Come in Vi and tell me all of it." He takes my suitcase putting in on the table near his door then reaches for my hand. I squeeze his hand as we walk into the living room.

We settle down next to each other and before I can say a word Rob pulls me closer hugging me tightly, I laugh. "Hey, did you miss me?"

His laughter rings out like music to my ears making me grin, "You know I did, I missed you a lot Vi."

Snuggling against him still grinning I laugh again, "I missed you too and sorry I really didn't mean to be gone so long. I had an unexpected visitor at my apartment."

"Unexpected? Is that good or bad?"

"It started off bad but ended okay."

Rob laughs again, "I love your vague answers, who was it?"

"It was my ex-husband." I cringe not sure his reaction.

"Oh I see." He tightens his grip on me and when I peek up at him his face is cold and hard. His smile is gone."

"Rob what is it?"

"Are you close with him?" His face remains the same; I can't tell what he is thinking.

"We talk occasionally, it's complicated but no I don't consider us close."

"So tell me why he was there."

I bite my lip hard not wanting to talk about this, I know he will hate it but I don't want to hide the truth from him. "My roommate contacted him. She saw our contract on my fax machine the other day and she is very against it. She wants him to save me from you."

His eyes change to a bright dark green as he gently pushes me back to lock his eyes with mine, "and what do you think?"

"I told you what I think. I trust you and I would not be here if I didn't." I met his gaze straight on with nothing to hide.

"I don't care what anyone else thinks of this but you." He leans forward kissing me softly while his hands tangle in my hair pulling it out of its loose ponytail to fall in cascades of dark curls over my shoulders. "I will never hurt you that I promise you."

"I know that. I can't explain it but I think I was supposed to meet you." I surprise myself thinking that maybe Edward's theory on that might be right. I gaze up at Rob, "does that sound crazy?"

He pulls me closer kissing me softly again then grins, "No it doesn't sound crazy at all."

A loud banging on his front door interrupts our private moment and I follow him with my eyes as he leaves the room to answer it. I think I am addicted to this man; just the sight of him excites me. I perk up as he comes back into the room. "Vi, I have some business to take care so why don't we get you setup while I do that? Come on baby."

He reaches out for my hand and then leads me down the hallway. We pass the playroom door and go to the left into a room I have never seen before. There is a lovely dark wood desk and chair in one corner of the room and a daybed on the other side. I glance around noting the mid day sun is lighting the room making it seem warm and cozy. It's a perfect writing room. "This is lovely Rob, thank you. I was just going to set up in the living room. I didn't expect my own room."

Grinning at me Rob answers, "You should know better, the best for you baby. Now you can change anything you want. Make it yours."

"I will." I kiss him quickly then move to set up my laptop on the desk as he leaves. I start diving into my work project and am lost in research hours later when he appears in the door way. I look up when I hear him and grin widely, "hey baby."

"Looks like you are getting some work done, should I come back later?"

"No, oh no baby, I could use a break. I might have an idea I want to run by you." I quickly save my work and close my laptop. I jump from the chair and head towards him.

He laughs pulling me with him to sit on the day bed on his lap. I put one leg on either side of him so I can face him. "A break? What shall we do on your break Vi?"

I grin at him and grind myself down hard on his lap whispering to him, "I have a few ideas."

"Naughty girl." He takes a hold of my long hair pulling it tight making me lean my head back as he kisses my neck. "I like the way you think."

"I like the way you think too." I close my eyes as he continues kissing down my neck lower and lower till he is at the v of my t-shirt. My breasts are aching for him to continue on till he has them under his lips as well.

He doesn't answer me with words but with actions. His hands move down to my hips as he pulls me down on his lap harder while we lock lips. The kisses come faster as we start to pull at each other's clothes. He pushes my t-shirt up and starts kissing my breasts through my bra as I moan. I arch my back and grind myself down again and again against his hardness while his hands dig into my hips. I can feel myself growing wet wanting and needing him then the sound of laughter fills the air. I stop kissing Rob and look up in shock. Breathing heavy with my shirt up I notice a strange man standing in the doorway. Letting out a squeal I pull at my shirt to cover up and try to hide against Rob. Rob growls then eyes the man in the doorway. "Damn it, you couldn't just wait like I asked?"

"Bro you were taking too long, my time is money and…" The strange man smirked at us. "You would have taken even longer if I hadn't interrupted." I stare at him from my place on Rob's lap. He looks a bit like Rob. They both have the same jaw line and the same piercing green eyes. As I stare at him, he suddenly winks at me. "So you two going to just sit there or what?"

Rob sighs and turns to me, "Baby we have some business to take care. I need to introduce you to my brother here."

"Brother?" I stare blankly from one to the other. His brother moves forward towards me with his hand out. I take hold of it to shake but he surprises me. He grabs hold of my hand pulling me off Rob's lap so suddenly I almost fall into him but he catches me.

"You are a pretty little thing. Rob this one reminds me of someone."

Rob growls at him and comes to stand behind me. "Bro back off that. Do what I asked and nothing more."

I raise my eyebrow at Rob, "what is going on here?"

His brother laughs still holding onto me, "My name is Bill and Victoria I am an ob/gyn. I take care of all my brother's subs."

"Take care of?" I try to back away from him but Bill still holds my arms.

"Don't worry I will take good care of you." Bill nods to Rob who reluctantly leaves us alone. I cringe being left alone with a stranger and stare after Rob. As soon as Rob shuts the door behind him Bills lunges at me. "God you, I have to do this." He kisses me hard while I try to push him away.

"NO!" I mutter against his lips but he doesn't stop till I bite his bottom lip hard and punch him in the stomach. Then I run towards the door but I stop when I hear him laugh.

He moves to block the door and beckons to me, "Victoria we are not done here."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

My blood runs cold at his words but I will not show him any fear, I turn from the door to glare at him, "we are done."

As I start to open the door Bill is suddenly next to me slamming it shut with a dark look in his eyes. I am speechless, his eyes there were green like Rob but now they are black, pitch black and piercing. I step back and end up pinned against the door, "Victoria we are not done. I have to examine you." He pulls at my hair forcing my head to go back and kisses my neck. As his lips work down my neck his hands are moving on my hips upwards. He mutters out a name this time but I can't tell what it is. I turn my head away as he tries to kiss my lips again I bite his bottom lip then I slap his face hard.

"Examine me?" I try to steady my voice and then I glare at him looking at the desk. "Shall I hop up on the desk and spread my legs so you can examine me there? Or would you prefer the bed?"

He smirks coldly, "The desk would be preferable but wait you are not going to make me get some of my brother's restraints?"

"You wouldn't, you are examining me not fucking me."

"I said examine, why do you assume fucking?"

"No doctor I have ever been examined by tries to kiss and fondle me first."

"You don't have the right kind of doctor then." He smirks and moves to grab me again. "Come on Victoria, doctor patient relationship is confidential. Rob would never have to know." As he speaks he pushes my hair off my face gently but his words have angered me. I will listen to no more. I lean my face up as if I would kiss him but when he leans closer I ball up my fist and punch him straight in the stomach. I stare at him till he moves back a step then I push open the door running down the hallway to find Rob only to run right into him outside the door. He wraps his arms around me while I glare at him, "You tell me what the fuck is going on right now or I am gone."

Rob swallows nervously, "this is for your own good. I can't lose you."

I shake my head and slap him hard, "You are telling me having him attack me and want to 'examine me' is for my own good. What the fuck, you are breaking your own damn rules. What happened to not loaning me out? I am not your whore Rob." I start down the hall headed to the door.

"Wait Vi, what are you talking about?" Rob tries again to hold me but I slap at his hands.

"Please don't touch me, your brother kissed me, fondled me and I will not be examined or whatever he has in mind. I think this arrangement is over." I try to pull away but Rob holds me forcing me to let him hold me. I hear footsteps and look up to see Bill watching us. I glare at him and fight Rob again, "let me go."

"Bill." Rob turns to him, "you just had to go there. Go back to Vi's study and wait. And you, Vi we need to talk." He pulls me with him into the living room and down on his lap. His grip on me hurts but he won't let me go. "Just be quiet and listen to me Victoria."

I hear his tone change and sigh; I nod in my sub mode and sit calmly on his lap. "Yes Master."

"Victoria, my brother was only supposed to talk to you about birth control. He is an obn/gyn. He takes care of all my subs. I do not want to get you pregnant." He pulls my face to look at him. "So I assume that is not what happened?"

"No as soon as you shut the door, he came at me kissing me and talking about examining me." I bite my lip and shake my head, "I have birth control handled Master."

"Victoria, I will not let him attack you but you will discuss what birth control you are using. I will be present if you wish while you talk to him." I open my mouth to protest but one glance at his face I change my mind and just nod. "I have lost someone dear to me due to not making sure all the bases were covered, I won't lose another." I nod again but inside I am dying to ask for more information.

The look in his green eyes seems very sad, I wonder who he lost but then I think of the name that Bill said while kissing me. Damn I wish I had understood it. I mutter to myself all the things it could be then it hits me, "Elena." I whisper out as Rob stares at me.

"Where did you hear that name Victoria?" His face seems hard as stone and his glare pierces me.

"Bill said it; he said it while kissing me." I whisper scared at the way his hands are digging into my arms.

"He said her name?" I nod to him terrified to say more. Rob shakes his head and sighs, "She is the one I lost, we lost."

"Lost how?"

He gazes up at me then nods, "she was a sub of mine but I was going to be discharging her for breaking the contract when she told me she was pregnant. I didn't believe her but months later Bill came to me that she had been pregnant and died."

I watch his face and see something there as he speaks. First the look is soft but then it hardens. I have to ask, "She broke the contract?"

"Yes she did, she had another partner while she was with me. You see I could not be sure the child was mine." He suddenly pulls me close and then beckons me to lean closer. When I do he kisses me softly then whispers, "I will not lose you." I nod breathlessly kissing him back. "Now let me go and yell at my brother then we will try this again." Sitting alone on the couch I shake my head, why sign a contract to be a sub just to break it. I hear their voices louder and louder but I can't tell what they are saying. Then I hear Rob call my name, I walk to my study and peek inside. Bill is standing with his eyes fixed on Rob while Rob glares at him. "Yes?" I ask quietly.

Rob reaches for me and as he holds me he talks to me quietly, "Bill will only ask you what he has been instructed this time but if you want I will stay here. It is up to you Victoria." I eye Bill and sigh, "I will be fine Master, as long as he doesn't try anything more." Bill nods and Rob glares at him then kisses my forehead. I watch him leave and turn to Bill, "You touch me and I scream. Ask your damn questions and be done with it." He starts to ask what kind of birth control I am using, I answer his questions short and to the point but he is staring at me so intensely it makes me feel frightened. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You remind me of someone."

"I know Elena right?"

He gazes at me this time it softens at just the mention of her name. "Yes Elena."

"Rob said she was a sub like me?" I lean closer wanting to know whatever I can about Rob's past.

Bill hesitates and then nods, "she was a sub but she was more. At least to me."

I stare at him confused, "she was with your brother?"

"She was but she should have been with me." Bill's face darkened and his voice was strained.

"I am so confused but she died?"

Bill's eyes are dark again, "Victoria, I won't discuss this anymore. I am going to recommend you get a shot as well as your oral contraceptives you are currently taking."

"What?" I gasp at him, "I don't think that is necessary unless Rob has abilities to knock me up that I don't know of."

"Trust me; I will take care of you. You just need to listen and do as I say."

I stare at him and nod. I watch him dig in a black bag that I didn't notice on the desk. He pulls out a few bottles and a syringe. "Jesus fuck, you are going to do it right now?" He nodded and pats the desk. I sit on it and stare at him. "Is getting pregnant really something that can kill me?"

He paused to look at me, "let's just say some blood doesn't mix well." He waved the syringe at me; I just nodded looking around cringing as he injected it into my arm. I sigh and eye him, "I will contact you when it's time for another one." I rub my arm as soon as he puts the bandage on then just nod. He picks up his things but stops before leaving; he pulls my face up to look at him as I am still sitting on the desk. "There is something timeless and beautiful about you, just like she was. God help me, the last time I was this attracted to one of my brother's subs everyone got hurt and someone died. I should not be feeling this way or saying this. Victoria if he ever treats you badly, you can always come to me. I do not agree with his lifestyle I never have. I understand his reasons for keeping distance from others but sometimes if you love someone you have to share your whole self with them. If only I had been willing to do that, I would never have lost her…but I won't lose you as well." Staring after him I just sit not sure what to think of that, this Elena must have meant something to both brothers and somehow I remind at least Bill of her. How can Bill talk of losing me when he has never had me? Who was this Elena? I am reeling at Bill's thought that Rob's lifestyle is to keep others at a distance, does that mean me too? Will I ever get to know the true Rob?

Lost deep in thought I almost jump off the desk as Rob startles me when he walks into the room. "Relax Vi, it's just me."

I nod, "Sorry was just thinking."

"I see that, are we okay now?"

"Rob, I…." I sigh not sure what to think in the matter of an hour my world has been spun upside down but as I look at him I know that I don't care about all that. His past is just that his past. I am his present. "I am fine, we are fine."

"I am sorry about my brother. He has always behaved himself with my subs before."

I raise an eyebrow at him thinking of what Bill just told me about Elena. Obviously Bill has not always behaved himself but I don't know if Rob will tell me that story so instead I just sigh. "It felt like a test."

Rob quickly sits down next to me on the desk then pulls me into his arms. "Baby I would never do that to you. You are mine and I do not share."

"I am yours and only yours." I grin at him.

"Well." He grins back at me, "If it was a test you would have passed with flying colors. You bit him and hit him I was told."

I laugh softly, "Yes I did."

"My girl has some fire, I like that." He smirks at me, "so I have an idea for tonight, did you want to play?" I nod enthusiacally at him, "did you bring a dress?"

"I did Rob."

"Okay come on; let me show you to your bedroom"

I look around confused, "isn't this my room?"

"No baby, this is just your study so you can work while you are here."

"You are giving me another room too? Rob you don't have to do that."

"Shush Vi, I want to. I like having you near me so no fight on this. Come now."

He hops off the desk and reaches for my hand. I grin at him as he pulls me to my feet, "okay show me."

We walk down the hallway to the next door, he pushes it open to reveal a beautiful room done in pale yellow with a large bed in the middle. A dresser lines one wall and matching nightstands sit on either side of the bed. It's a large room that is double the side of my study. I notice closet doors that are slightly open; the closet looks to be almost bigger than my entire room at home. I shake my head taking it all in. Rob points to the corner of the room and a door I did not see at first, "Baby the bathroom is here and wait what's the look for?"

"It's too much. You give me so much how can I ever repay you?"

"Baby stop, you repay me just being here with me. Now there is more, look inside the closet."

"More? No Rob." I peek further into the closet. It's lined with clothes….sweaters, dresses, pants, coats and dresses. I see racks of shoes and so much I think I could stock a store fully with it all.

"If you don't like any of it, let me know."

"Rob, no you have done enough." I turn to him. I haven't had anyone spoil me so much even my ex-husband. I can't find the words. I launch myself at him kissing him hard.

"So you like then?" Kissing me back Rob runs his fingers down my back. "Your suitcase is on the dresser baby but I have something I want you to wear tonight." I nod to him very curious. He pulls a pair of black panties out of his pocket. I take them from him turning them over in my hands with questioning eyes. Rob just laughs at me, "get ready baby, I'm taking you out to dinner and from there we are playing it by ear."

"Sounds like fun, how should I address you in public while we play?"

"Victoria, you are such a good girl for thinking ahead. The rules are the same. Safe words are still yellow and red but you will not be calling me Master tonight. While we are out in public you will call me Robert in play mode."

I smile at him nodding, "And the not speaking unless told to is still in play?"

"Yes baby." He smiles back at me.

He starts to leave the room but I call him remembering something else I wanted to ask him. "What about the alerts?"

He furrows his brow at me, "alerts?"

I blush bright red and whisper, "you know the I'm cumming alerts."

"Oh those." He laughs. "We will need a code for that too, wont we?" He winks at me as I nod laughing. "Let's see. What's your favorite color Vi?"

"Purple."

"Then purple shall be the code for your cumming alerts and you can say that freely at anytime." With another wink at me Rob heads for the door again, "be ready in 45 minutes baby."

I grin at him and as soon as he closes the door I rush into my private bathroom straight to the shower. As I wash my hair I close my eyes trying not to think of how much I want his hands on me. The hot water seems to only make my longing more intense. I put my face full in the spray and moan as the water floods over my core making me ache for a release. I start to slide my hands down my body then I remember that I can't touch myself without Rob's permission. I groan loudly and rub my thighs together trying to ignore the ache. I head out of the shower and focus on drying my hair. When it's falling down my back in soft waves I toss off my towel and saunter out naked to get dressed. I notice at once that my bedroom door is now open, I run back at once into the bathroom to grab my towel then peek back out slowly. I don't see anyone but I know that my door was shut when I went into the shower.

I shake off the feeling and start to dig out my purple dress when I hear a soft voice, "I hope that I didn't startle you dear. I just wanted to make sure the bed was freshly made up for you."

I turn with a jump to see a petite blond looking at me. She looks about Rob's age and she is breathtaking beautiful. Long blond hair framing her porcelain face and she gazes on me with big blue eyes. She is wearing dark jeans and a red shirt. "Uhm you did scare me. Who are you?"

"My name is Rose. I'm Mr. Black's housekeeper. So you are the newest to the collection?" She steps closer to me smiling but her smile changes to a smirk. Her eyes are dark and as she advances on me I feel very uncomfortable. I clutch my towel staring at her. "Don't worry dear I won't hurt you." She leans closer to me, "I won't but I can't say he won't." She suddenly darts out of the room closing the door softly behind her leaving me standing confused.

I gaze at the door and notice a lock on it. I lunge forward to click it locked at once then I sit down on the bed shaking my head. Who the hell has a housekeeper? And this Rose, she seems to know exactly what I am. All the awful thoughts in my head threaten to overtake me. I sigh and eye the clock realizing I have only a few minutes left before Rob comes looking for me. I gather up my dress, shoes, corset and those black panties. As I slip the panties on I notice they feel strange. The fabric is thick in the front and clings to me in a weird way. It's like they are stuck to my clit. I shift uncomfortably trying to finish getting dressed. I am leaning over putting on my shoes when I hear Rob knock on my door. "Be right there." As I open the door he grins at me looking damn fine in a black suit. In his hand he has a small remote of some kind. I gaze at it then back at him as he hits a button on it. I look around expecting to see something go on or off but I see nothing. The suddenly I feel a light touch of my clit. I widen my eyes looking down then back up.

"Did you feel that Victoria?"

Yes Master, I did. How did you do that?"

"Do what, feel this?" He hits the button again and this time the touch is harder. I bite my lip staring at him. "Answer me Victoria or I will continue to turn up the vibrations and if you cum I will spank you." He hits the button again then again and I moan as the panties vibrations get harder and harder.

I feel myself getting wet as I choke out, "Yes Master, I feel it."

"Good girl, this is part of fun tonight. You ready to play this game?"

With the panties still vibrating I close my eyes thinking of how he will be doing this to me all night long. How will I ever be able to endure this out in public? I open my eyes and nod slowly to him. I want so much to see if I can please him. "I am ready to try Master."

"Just let me know when you have hit your limit Victoria. Use your safe words."

"Yes Master."

"And with that said, from this moment on no more Master. Call me Robert. Let's go." He hits a button turning off the panties vibrations and I breathe a sigh of relief. The panties are already moist they are going to be soaking wet at this rate. Rob opens the car door for me and as soon as he climbs into the car I feel the panties start to vibrate again. He grins over at me, "music?" I nod then grin as one of my favorite songs comes on. He looks over at me as I start to move in my seat singing and swaying my hips. "Shall we get started with a bang?"

I look up at him with big eyes, "meaning?"

"Start singing again Victoria and I want to see you touch yourself but do not move the panties." His voice is harsh and I nod. I fall back in my seat and start singing. I feel the panties start to vibrate but it's just a slight touch until I start to rub my fingers over them pushing them against my clit. The song changes and as the tempo picks up Rob turns the vibrations up making me writhe in my seat. I close my eyes but hear his command loud and clear. "Harder Victoria, I want you to make yourself moan."

"Yes Master…I mean yes Robert." I don't open my eyes but start to move my fingers harder tracing circles over my clit. I can feel myself growing wetter and then as the song speeds up again so does the vibrations. I moan as I feel myself starting to tingle. My body is tensing up and I bite my lip hard.

"Victoria, tell me what is feels like."

I open my eyes and stare over at him, "My body is tingling….I am so wet Robert, so wet."

I see him grin at me, "I want to see you taste your wetness, use two fingers Victoria. Rub them under your panties then I want to watch you lick them clean." I nod to him and as I move my elbow to slip my hand under my panties I bump my purse sending my cell phone over onto Rob's lap. I see him grab it and then nod to me. I continue on sliding two fingers under my panties drenching them in my wet moistness before I bring them up to my lips. Just as I brush my fingers over my lips he hits the remote again. I moan louder as I start to suck hard on my fingers wishing it was his hard cock in my mouth instead. I find myself rocking my hips against the vibrations. I forget all else and then feel myself teetering on the edge.

"Fuck…purple." I moan out hoarsely.

"No, Victoria…..NO! If you cum now I will spank your pretty ass before dinner. Do not cum." I cry out as his palm slaps against my clit hard. I hiss in air trying to stop it from happening but the vibrations don't stop. Now his hand is cupping my clit making it even harder not to cum.

I bite my fingers in frustration. I can feel it there…..my sweet release so close but I know he will not be pleased. I close my eyes trying to think of something else but it's not working. I groan out, "yellow." Instantly his hand moves and the vibrations slow down to just barely teasing me as I take in a deep breath.

"Good girl, testing your limits." I look over at him; his hands are tight on the steering wheel as he eyes me. He gives me a wicked grin, "did I mention that this is a long drive?" I blink my eyes at him. "Victoria we still have about twenty minutes, so round two."

I hear his words just as the song changes, then he kicks the vibrations back up making me moan again. "Robert…."

"Victoria touch yourself again, this time I want to see your hands on your breasts." I bring my hands to the top of my dress reaching to push my corset down so I can touch my breasts. I close my eyes as I rub my fingertips lightly over my nipples making them stiffen at once into two little hard peaks. I bite my lips as he turns the vibrations up again and start to move my hips to the music getting wetter again. "Now pinch your nipples Victoria, hard I want to see you make them red."

"Yes Robert." I roll my nipples under my fingers tip slowly then pinch them both hard at the same time making me moan again. I hear him groan as I continue.

"Good girl, fuck me Victoria. You are going to make me cum just watching you. Now I want to see you bring those fingers to your clit. Rub yourself."

"Yes Robert," I open my eyes and gaze over at him. I eye his hands on the steering wheel gripping it so tightly his knuckles are white and it's his fingers I imagine are tracing over my dripping clit rubbing me and making me moan as I rock my hips. I move to the beat of the music just as Rob turns up the vibrations.

The combination of my pressure on my clit plus the vibrations has me moaning to him, "Purple, oh god Robert please may I cum?"

I stare at him biting my lip so hard I taste blood as I wait for his answer, "Victoria baby wait one second. I want to watch this. Let me park but do not stop." I moan and nod, my fingers continuing their work as I feel the car speed up and then suddenly turn making me slide in my seat as he parks. Then I feel his body turn towards me. "Now baby I want to see you explode. Cum for me."

I stare at him and in his eyes I get lost as I continue to touch myself. I feel the panties soaking wet vibrating against me and I am so close, so damn close but I need more. I whisper to him, "May I fuck myself?"

"With your fingers?" I nod to him, "Yes Victoria you may as long as you do it hard. Pound yourself as I would." I nod to him and then slowly slip two fingers deep inside me; I move them hard and deeper while still imagining they are his fingers. I move my hips still on the edge. I see him watching intently then suddenly he moves closer.

"Like this baby." He puts his fingers over mine pushing mine in deeper while his enter me too. I cry out as he moves both of our fingers deeper and deeper till I cum loudly, my release makes me so wet I feel it running down my legs as he grins at me. I watch him take a deep breath in, "smell that? I love when you cum, it smells like heaven…my personal heaven, part of why you can only cum for me and then this." He brings his fingers to lips licking off my release making me shudder watching. "You taste so good, you are my appetizer Victoria and now I just want more."

I stare at him, then he leans closer kissing me harder. I taste me on his lips, I whisper to him. "Why is tasting me on you so hot?"

He just laughs, "Because you never realized how good you taste?" I am about to answer him when my cell starts ringing loud. I freeze at the ring tone and start to sit up. Rob pushes me back on the seat and moves to try to find my phone. It's on the floor by his legs and he eyes it, "Were you expecting a call Victoria?"

"No Robert I was not but I need to take that call. That is my work ring tone."

"I thought you were a free lance writer?"

"I am but that is my editor."

"I see. I want to talk to this guy." I stare at him and move to take the phone just as he answers it. "Victoria Masen's line."

I bite my lip and wait for his reaction… "Hello Mrs. Gray? Wait is that Mrs. Christian Grey?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I freeze listening to Rob talk to her and I wonder do they know each other? His side of the conversation doesn't tell me much but I continue to listen. The way he asked about her husband makes me wonder. As he keeps speaking to her I listen for clues. He asks her many questions. "So you are Mrs. Christian Grey?"

"Yes I know him. Not very well, mostly by reputation."

"That sounds promising."

His comments are very short and polite. I sigh wanting so badly to ask a million questions but I know that I can't. Suddenly Rob looks my way, "let me give you to her now then." He hands me the phone then leans back in his seat watching me.

I cringe a bit under his intent gaze as I take hold of my cell, "Hello?"

Ana's voice is pleasant as she addresses me. "Victoria, how are you?"

I gaze over at Rob who is eyeing me and look down at my dress hiked up over my thighs making me want to laugh at her question. How am I? At the moment I am very well, curious about Rob and Ana's relationship but still coming down from my last orgasm. I smile at Rob as I answer her, "Mrs. Grey I am very well. Do you have a new assignment for me?"

"Actually I do, I read your idea for a blog site. Do you still want to pursue that?"

I sit up straighter remembering the email I sent her earlier when I was working about making a blog site about the true life of a sub. I had not expected such a quick response or a phone call either. I expected maybe an email within a week or two. "Yes I am. I think it would be a very interesting topic to explore."

"As do I but you know that Grey Publishing's online site doesn't really dabble into those kinds of…." I hear a hesitation in her voice. "Dark areas so this blog site won't be marked as one of ours, however we will advertise the site on ours. Does that make sense to you?"

I nod, "It does, you want to fund it but not openly?"

"Exactly Victoria, if anyone asks you have an independent investor funding the site. Do you have some time to meet with me this week?"

"Mrs. Grey I can meet you any day you have time."

"Let me check my schedule and get back to you but in the meantime why don't you start putting down some rough ideas for the first blog posts to show me."

"Can do, and thank you for your quick response. I didn't think I would hear anything this soon."

"It's a unique idea about a closed topic that needs some light shed on it."

"I agree. I will be waiting for your call." I grin at Rob as Ana ends the call. "So you know Mrs. Grey?" I ask him casually.

"No." He answers shorting then starts to get out of the car. "I only know her husband, but come now Victoria."

I quickly toss my cell into my purse as I scramble out of the car. Rob appears to open my door as I stand up pulling my dress back down. I look up to see a smirk on his face making me laugh, "Yes Robert, please lead the way."

He slams the door shut then slams me against it hard. One hand goes to my hair pulling it hard so I lean my head back while he kisses and bites at my neck softly. His other hand he brings up so his palm is under my dress against my clit. I moan softly closing my eyes as I lean back hard on the car. His voice is deep and seductive, "are you ready to play again? I nod to him but he doesn't like that I don't speak to answer him. I cry out as his palm slams against my clit so hard it hurts. "Answer me now or I will spank you right here and now." His tone is now deeper, darker and dangerous. Why does that turn me on so much?"

"Yes," I manage to get out, my voice breathy and soft. "I want to play."

"Louder, I want to hear you." His palm moves to my ass and he slaps it hard.

"Yes Robert I am ready to play." I call out louder to him and he nods.

"That is better, no nodding. When I ask a question I want a verbal answer unless you are directed to nod in response or you will get a physical punishment. Now it seems I need to give you something to write about." I stare at him confused. Did Ana tell him about my idea? He pulls my hair harder making me wince in pain. "Were you going to tell me about this idea of yours?"

My mind registers that fact that he knows about my idea. That I want to write about him, about us and what goes on behind closed doors in his naughty world. I try to turn my head to look at him but he tightens his grip. "Yes Robert, I was. I tried to mention it earlier before your brother and that situation."

His grip loosens slightly and he kisses my nose. "Oh I remember now but I like the idea. I would have funded it for you no questions asked but now we have Mrs. Grey involved." He flips me suddenly so my chest is against the car and grinds into me while his hands still pulls my hair. His erection is hard against my ass and his voice is suddenly playful, "Now how shall we shock her? Let's see how well you handle your first public outing." Moaning I push myself back against him praying that I can do this. I want to please him but in the back of my mind I worry what happens if I don't. That thought scares me. He grinds against me once more then stops. He moves away letting go of my hair. He holds out his hand for me. As I push myself off the car I feel my legs shake just a bit. I take his hand squeezing it as I try to steady myself. "Don't be afraid to tell me your safe words. This is to test your limits, you set the pace."

Those words echo in my head and I smile at him then concentrate on walking without stumbling as he pulls me quickly through the parking ramp. In the elevator he grins a wicked look my way then whispers, "game on." I see the remote in his hand and feel the softest vibrations from the panties as I stare at him. How will I manage to eat while he does this all night? When the door open we are in the middle of a dark hallway, Rob slaps my ass hard prompting me to take a step forward. Laughing Rob moves to my side taking my hand as we walk together. As we reach a brightly lit door he turns to me as he opens it, "I hope you like Italian Victoria."

"I do." I answer him then stare around us. It is a big restaurant with brightly lit walk ways but the tables are located against the walls and in corners. I like this; I won't have to worry about everyone seeing my face flushed as Rob torments me all night. With one word from Rob we are whisked to a back corner that is already waiting for us. I sit down as Rob holds my chair then eye the menu. It all looks and sounds wonderful and I notice that Rob has already had them bring out two glasses of a dark red wine. I eye it and then lean towards Rob, "I am allowed to drink?"

"Yes you are allowed to have one glass tonight but drink it slowly, this is grappa. It is very strong." He reaches over to take my menu, "If you trust me, shall I order for us both?"

"Yes please."

"Very well." Rob turns to the waiter and orders then gazes over at me. "You look worried, don't be. I won't push you too hard I promise."

"I am just worried that I might disappoint you."

"You are not going to disappoint me, you are just learning. Do not be so hard on yourself, just lean back and let me take over. You think too much." I see him place the remote on the table tapping the button once. I close my eyes enjoying the stronger vibrations. "No more thinking about anything but your pleasure Victoria. Your Master's orders."

"Yes Robert."

He grins at me then hits the button once more; I lean back just letting myself get used to the sweet tingly way I am starting to feel as the waiter reappears with our salads. Rob leans towards me, "Are we still green?"

"Yes, green."

As we eat I am lost in a sea of tingly sensations making me push my thighs together as I grow wetter and wetter but I manage to eat and sip my grappa. He eyes me as the waiter comes back to pick up our empty plates. "So this little blog idea of yours, was it inspired by me?"

"Yes it was. I want to show more than just the dark side of your world."

He frowns at me, "You know so little of me and this world, you assume there is more to me than what you see."

I frown at his words and nod, "yes Robert I do. All I saw online was women being treated like animals with collars and on their knees in cages. You didn't mention collars to me or cages."

At that I see a glimmer of a smile on his handsome face, "you have got me there. I do not collar my subs. I will never treat you like an animal and that is why I don't do cages either. You are not my pet."

"Thank you, I don't want to be your pet."

"What do you want Victoria?"

I blink at his intense stare at me, "do you mean tonight or overall?"

"I mean from me, what do you want?"

"I want to explore all the things you listed in that contract of ours. I don't have this all planned out Robert, I am just following your lead."

"Good girl, too many plans can spoil the fun." He leans back as the waiter brings our entrees but he winks at me as he hits the remote again making me moan softly. The waiter glances my way then quickly leaves. I laugh softly while Rob shakes his head at me, "I think you scared him." We eat in silence for a bit then Rob gazes at me, "So you want to write about me, I can't wait to read what you say."

I blush bright red then nod, "Yes I want to write about you. You are a closed book I am eagerly reading."

"A closed book? Well don't worry I will be opening up pages to you as we go. I want to show you so much."

"Good I want to learn all I can." I lean back in my chair finished eating and close my eyes moaning again as I let myself get lost in the vibrations.

Rob turns it up again then leans towards me, "I want you to go into the restroom and touch yourself Victoria. Right now." I look at him puzzled but he stops me, "Don't make yourself cum and don't wash your fingers either, I want to taste you."

"Oh." I shudder at the harder vibrations and slowly stand up heading to the ladies room slowly. Walking as my body tingles I am a ball of want, I am so wet I can feel the insides of my legs wet too. The ladies room is a private room, I am thankful for that as I lock myself in. I sit down in the stall and bring one hand to run up my inner thigh. I open my legs and close my eyes as I inch my way higher and higher until I feel the wetness on my upper thigh. When I breathe in I can smell me, my arousal heavy in the air. I brush my fingers over my panties, they are soaking wet and still vibrating hard. I am so close to the edge I want to cum so bad but I can't. I rub my fingers around under my panties till they are soaking wet then I make my way out of the restroom back to the table. Rob is sitting sipping wine looking at his cell when I come back. He has pulled my chair over close to his and grins at me as I sit down. Without a word he reaches over to take a hold of my hand to bring it to his face. First he sniffs the air and grins at me.

"You smell delicious; I think you will be my dessert." With that Rob takes one of my fingers into his mouth sucking hard as I moan softly rubbing my legs together. He quickly cleans off my fingers then turns to look at me, "I want more."

I blink at him and then look around, "more?"

"Yes, more." He hits the remote again and suddenly the panties are vibrating so hard I can hear them humming against my clit. I lean back hard in the chair moaning. Rob runs a hand down my arm and whispers to me, "Are you close?"

"I am very close."

"I didn't hear you say the warning."

I moan against and rub my thighs together as I bite my lip then whisper to him, "purple."

Instead of answering me Rob hits the remote again. I bring my hand to my mouth right now as I almost cry out. "Victoria, no."

"Purple, purple. Please." My voice sounds like a needy plea but Rob ignores it and I feel his hand brush my breast. I am almost there but he said no and I can't handle this, I need him to stop. I turn my head to him, "yellow….please stop."

"Yellow?" Rob questions me but he turns the vibrations down just a bit.

"I….oh my god….no no." I shudder as I feel myself cum, I tried to stop it but just a sudden brush of his leg against mine pushed me over the edge. I grab at the table cloth and close my eyes as my whole body shudders again.

I hear Rob's voice, "Victoria, you heard me tell you no?"

"I did Robert, I am sorry." I feel the panties start again full power and I moan, "No please no."

"Stand up Victoria now." I stand up slowly trying to steady my legs but all I can focus on is the panties buzzing and vibrating harder and harder. "Follow me now." Rob tosses money down on the table and then grabs my purse as he walks towards the restroom. He doesn't look to see if I am behind him. I walk carefully, my body is on the edge again but I know I can't give in to it. I bite my lip hard as I walk. He catches me off guard pushing me into the men's room. I bump hard into the sink and eye him. In one quick movement Rob locks the door then pulls me over his knees as he sits down on the closed toilet. I cry out as he slaps my ass hard. "I told you no but you came anyway. Now you will be punished."

"I am sorry Master….Robert." I cry out as he hits me again then orders me to count. "Two." I cry out then, "three….four….." Finally, "five." As the last slap still burns my skin Rob pushes me off his lap. I catch myself on the sink trying to catch my breath. He comes up behind me rubbing my bottom softly. I stare at him in the mirror and see tears in my eyes. His hands gently turn me around and crush me to him in a hug. I hear him ask if I am okay, I whisper back, "I am fine, I am just disappointed in myself."

"Victoria, look at me." I lean my head up to meet his gaze and see something warm shining in his eyes. I don't want to think its love but there is something very tender there. "You have not disappointed me but you need to let me know when you are on the edge. You should have said red."

"Yes Master, I should have. I didn't expect that to happen. I have never came just from that alone." He nods then kisses me. His kisses are warm and deep and just want I need but as he kisses me it pushes my sore ass right into the sink making me cry out.

"Are you alright?"

"No, I ….yellow." I pull myself away from the sink and I see him realize that the position is hurting me. Suddenly I am facing the sink and he is pulling up my dress. I feel him grinding against me.

My body responds at once, I feel him pull my panties to the side and as he plunges deep into me I hear him whisper my name. Then he starts to grip my hips as he slams in and out of me harder and harder. I am so sensitive that I immediately am on the edge. I call out the code word to him and hear him groan to me, "Cum if you need too." I give up fighting it and explode around him once then as he continues to pound into me again...I moan louder and louder. His hand clams over my mouth, "shush Victoria." I nod to him and try my hardest to be quiet but a loud moan escapes as he pulls me hard to him one last time as I feel him explode this time. It's a hot rush that leaves me breathless. I sag against the sink as he pulls out of me. I hear people walking in the hallway and I stare at Rob in the mirror. He has just spanked the hell out of me then fucked me into oblivion but there is still part of me that wants more. But for the stinging of my ass I would have already forgotten it. I turn on the water splashing cold water on my face as he speaks. "Are you okay?"

I look up to see Rob in the mirror. His eyes are full of concern while his hands are massaging my ass gently. "I am fine Robert." I meet his gaze and give him a small smile.

"Good, now let's go home." I look at him in the mirror. "I mean my home; you are welcome to stay if you wish."

"I have not worn out my welcome yet?"

He laughs softly, "no you have not but it's your choice. I will be up early tomorrow."

"Maybe I should head to my place then. I have issues to work out with my roommate." I pull my panties back in place and my dress down then we creep out of the restroom and walk casually out of the restaurant. I grin at Rob when he reaches the elevator. He gives me a grin, "I have never done that before."

"You have never fucked in a restaurant?"

I shake my head and blush, "no I haven't till now."

"You are going to be so much fun to corrupt." He laughs at me and we head to his car. I wince as I sit down and he sees it. "Maybe you should stay; I want to take care of you."

"If you want me to stay, I will." I lean back against the seat staring at him.

"I do, stay with me. Let me take care of that."

"Okay Master." I wink at him and as he drives us back to his place I check my cell phone. I have one missed call from Edward, two missed texts from Kari and a voice mail that is from Edward. I ignore them all and put my phone back in my purse as I sing along to the music.

Rob grins over at me, "I like when you sing."

"You do? Edward hated it."

"His loss then. You have a great voice." I blush and blow him a kiss when he looks my way. Then he changes it to another song. "Do you know the words to this one?" I listen to see what song it is and laugh when I recognize it. It's Taylor Swift, 'I knew you were trouble'.

"I know this song but I don't think you are trouble."

"You will learn in time that I am. Sing it for me."

I nod and start singing, "Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked. So shame on me now flew me to places I never been till you put me down. Oh I knew you were trouble when you walked in. So shame on me now flew me to places I never been now I'm lying on the cold hard ground." As I sing trouble…I glance over at Rob, is he trouble? Is this is his hint to me? The next chorus starts and I cringe at the words. "Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the streets, a new notch in his belt is all I'll ever be and now I see; now I see. He was long gone when he met me and I realize the joke is on me." The rest of the words tumble out of my mouth but my mind is still focused on the joke is on me. Am I just another notch? What happens when he is done with me? Then the last verse, "I knew you were trouble when you walked in…." I am just repeating the trouble, trouble as he parks the car. I stare at him, "I don't think you are trouble Rob."

"Baby, I have always been trouble in one form or another. I don't want to hurt you but my past record is not the best. I was not trying to scare you but I just want you to be prepared, I am not Prince Charming."

I nod to him, "I don't need to be rescued."

"No you don't, you are a strong one. If you wanted that kind of life you would have stayed with your husband."

I turn to him as he turns off the car and his seat belt, "exactly, I want more from life. I want excitement and danger so maybe I want trouble."

"Good point, well your trouble has arrived. Come on, I have some pampering to deliver now." I nod and gather up my things then hop out as he opens the door. Without a word he takes my hand as we head to his apartment.

Before he can put his key in the lock the door swings open, I see Rose standing there. She is dressed in a black robe with her hair down over her shoulders. Bill is right next to her, I stare at them. Bill grins at me then pats Rob on the shoulder as he slips out the door. "Good night bro, have a good evening. I know I did." Bill winks at me as I move closer to Rob.

Rose sees his wink and glares at me then calls after Bill, "well good night to you as well." As soon as we are in Rose slams the door hard then stalks off to the other end of the apartment.

I look over at Rob, "she lives here?"

"She does, to watch over the place when I am gone but don't worry she knows not to disturb you."

"Rob are you sure about that?" He looks after Rose then at me, "she popped in my room earlier and scared me half to death."

"Well I will talk to her that will not happen again. Come now, bed." We head to his bedroom, I hesitate at the doorway. "Vi?"

"Rob I thought I was not going to be sleeping in your bed?"

"Do you not want too?"

I shake my head at once and move to him, "no you misunderstand me, I want nothing more than to spend my night right next to you but I don't want you to do anything you are not comfortable with."

"Victoria…."

I hear his tone change and whisper, "yes Master."

"Who is in charge here?"

"You are Master."

"Then stop asking questions and strip at once. I want to take care of you now." I nod and start to undress as he disappears into his bathroom. He comes out with a tube in one hand and a bottle of aspirin in the other. Then he goes back to come out with a small glass of water. "Now here take some aspirin then lie down on your side." I do as he commands and after I lie down I feel his hands on my sore ass. His touch is cold as ice until he puts some of the ointment on his fingers. I moan softly as he massages it into my skin. Soon instead of stinging my bottom is blissfully numb and I am in a sleepy haze. I hear him tell me to sleep and as I drift off I feel him spoon up behind me. The touch of his body on mine makes me shiver but it's very welcome. I close my eyes hearing his soft breathing in my ear and wake up to the same sweet sounds followed by a dreadful beeping sound. I groan and pull the pillow over my head as Rob laughs, "I warned you I would be up early but you can go back to sleep."

I feel him kiss my lips and I doze back off to wake up suddenly hours later. I don't bother to get dressed but grab a robe and fly down the hallway to my study to turn on my lap top. I start writing as soon as it comes up.

_Part of being a sub is punishment. I have to say it was the part that I dreaded the most but last night I received my first punishment. Now when you think of spanking it might bring back childhood memories for some but I was never spanked as a child so it was a new experience for me. While it hurt like hell, it was not all unpleasant. Part of me enjoyed it. _

_Each slap of his hand on my ass made my whole body tighten and I grew more and more excited from it. I wanted more, each slap did not just represent him telling me that I had made a mistake but it seemed to be telling my body that more was coming. I felt myself growing wetter and wetter. _

_My reaction to it all still confuses me now as I sit here the morning after. It doesn't hurt, Master made sure to take care of me. I am in no pain but my mind is trying to understand how what was supposed to be a punishment made me so excited, so wet and so eager to have him take me. I hope that as we continue this question is answered. It leaves me so confused._

I am rereading what I have typed when I hear a noise. I jump as I look up to see Rose staring at me. "Fuck.." I mutter under my breath. "Damn you scared me; you need to make some noise or something."

"You didn't hear me coming?"

I glare at her, "no I didn't. I didn't hear you last time either, Rose stop sneaking up on me."

"I do exactly as I have always done before you, and as I will continue after you." I shake my head and save my document before I stand up. Rose walks toward me forcing me to stay behind my desk. "You need to realize that while your time is limited here, I will be here forever."

"Forever? Okay Rose, how about you leave me alone now." I turn my laptop off and start to pack up my stuff as I want to run by the apartment but Rose doesn't move. She stands in my way till I push her out of my way. Then she pushes me back hard. "Hey damn, what is your problem." I yell at her then I hear a cough. I turn my head to see who it is while Rose quickly leaves the room. I look up to see Bill in my doorway. I sigh pulling my robe tighter around me, "why are you here?"

"I didn't like the way we ended our talk, I wanted to apologize."

I stare at him and cross my arms over my chest, "I don't want to hear I'm sorry I attacked you. Damage done, you can't take it back."

"I understand that but I just had a feeling that you might want to know more of what really happened."

"As in with Elena?"

He nods, "Rob will never tell you anything about his past. So if you want to know you will have to ask me."

"If Rob doesn't want me to know I'm sure that there is a good reason for it."

Bill's laugh is cold and makes my skin crawl as I see an evil look on his face, "You really are naïve. You think he is not telling you to protect you? No…he is not telling you so you don't run away from what he really is."

"Bill, you just need to stop. I won't be scared off by you. If might have worked with Elena but it won't work with me."

Suddenly I am on the daybed pinned under Bill while he glares down at me. My hands are pinned over my head and his body is straddling mine. "You want to know what worked with her? I will tell you, I loved that girl. I wanted more for her than to be one of my brother's little whores. See you don't know a thing about Rob." Bill leans down and I see his face soften, "there is a reason why he never commits to anyone. You should ask him about his last long term relationship Victoria and then you might see him with different eyes." I gasp as Bill kisses me hard then disappears out of the room.

I am still on my back on the bed when Rose reappears; she frowns at me and then mutters, "another one just like her." Before I can ask what she means she disappears down the hall leaving me alone and confused.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I sit up looking after Rose, what does she mean? Am I just like Elena? Is that why Bill won't leave me alone? I need to figure out more about her but I don't know where to start. The thought of asking Rob terrifies me and I can't try to look her up when I don't know a last name. All I know is her first name. This whole situation bothers me but I have work to do so I push it out of my head for now. I head back to Rob's room to grab my purse just as my cell inside it starts to ring. It's Edward's ringtone. I shake my head thinking to myself I don't want to deal with him but I answer it anyway. "Hello Edward."

"Didn't you get my voice mail?" His voice sounds raspy and there are loud voices in the background.

"I just saw it; I was out late last night." I shake my head wishing I had just let the call go to voice mail.

"With him?" I bristle at his tone and his question.

"That is none of your business, so just tell me what is going on."

"My mother is in the hospital. She was in an accident yesterday."

I bite my lip at the news, I remember my mother in law well. Esme was always very kind to me; she was so disappointed when Edward and I split. She is the only one in their family who still contacts me just to talk. "Oh god, is she okay?"

"She was in critical condition last night when I called you but she has stabilized since then. She was asking for you."

I mutter swear words at myself under my breath, "fuck I'm sorry I didn't get the message. Does she still want to see me?"

"Yes she does, I am calling from there now. Can you come straight up?"

"Let me grab a quick shower and I will head that way. Tell her I am coming."

"Okay and Vicks..." I hear him soften his tone, "please drive careful, I can't have anything else bad happen to anyone I love right now."

"Of course Edward, text me the room number and I will text you when I'm on my way."

We say our goodbyes and I hurry to race back to my room. I pop into the shower putting my long hair up. I don't have time to mess with washing it right now. I jump out of the shower to head into my new closet. There are so many choices. As I dig through the clothes I hear a sound, I peek out to see Rose with my cell in her hand. She is reading my cell, what the fuck? Enough, I am done with her. I storm out taking hold of it and pointing to the door, "Okay you don't like me; I get it but back the fuck off. Get out of my room NOW!" Instead of answering me Rose pulls at my towel making it fall to the phone. While I scramble to get it she stares me up and down. "You are sick, get out!" I scream at her again and pull my towel closed.

Rose sneers at me, "I can see why Mr. Black likes you. Very pretty, very pretty makes me want to touch too." She advances on me till I am against the wall breathing heavy and looking for an escape. Just as she reaches to touch me I let my towel drop, this time as she looks down I push her back suddenly then slap her across the face as hard as I can. She hisses at me then laughs, "You are brave and stupid. I will leave you for now but just know if I want some I will get some, sooner or later."

I follow her to my door slamming it and locking it tight behind her. My mind is reeling; I can't stay here anymore not when Rob is gone. I never feel safe her with Rose and Bill lurking. I look at my cell and see that Rose was reading my messages with Edward. What the hell? I can't figure out what her obsession with me is but at this point I don't care. I send a text to Rob quickly.

I am off to visit my ex mother-in-law at the hospital but then I am going back to my apartment. Rob I can't stay here while you are gone.

I am putting the phone down to dress but it quickly goes off, Rob's replies come fast and furious.

Victoria, thank you for letting me know where you will be but what is this nonsense?

I can't stay here alone, your housekeeper and your brother are always here.

My housekeeper is always there, it's her job to be there but what about my brother?

Bill was here this morning, I don't like being spied on.

I think you are imagining that. I will talk to Bill; he does have a key though.

I did not just imagine being attacked by her.

What are you talking about? Victoria, call me immediately.

I sigh and drop the phone to pull on clothes then dial his number. "Rob?"

"Explain to me who attacked you?"

"Well first your brother again, he said some things about you and that Elena again. Then just now your housekeeper."

I hear Rob sigh through the phone, "I was afraid of that when he first mentioned her name after seeing you the first time."

"Are you going to tell me who Elena is now?"

"No, it was the past."

"But that past is now in my present, what if I want to know?"

"Then you can ask Bill but if he attacks you again if will be your own fault."

"My fault for wanting to know who she is and why he keeps comparing me to her?"

"I have to go into a meeting now, we will discuss this later…all of us. I want you to be safe at my apartment but for now go to yours. Victoria I will tell you what information I decide you need to know and nothing more."

"Fine, until later then." Rob hangs up and I am just frustrated. I grab a coat then head to my study to get my laptop and work stuff. I see Rose and eye her coldly. "Do not fucking come near me." I slam my way out of the apartment to my car. I text Edward quickly then head to the hospital.

Once at the hospital I make my way to Esme's room only to be engulfed in people. Edward, his father Carlisle, other relatives I barely remember and a short brunette who is standing behind Edward. She is the only new face in the room so I assume she is Edward's new girl friend. No one moves to introduce her to me and as soon as he sees me Edward rushes to my side. "Thank god you are here, she has been asking for you again." He takes my hand and leads me straight to Esme's side pulling up a chair for me. I see the new girl glare at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Thank you Edward." I sit down then look at my former mother in law. She still looks as beautiful as ever but right now she is so pale. Under her eyes are large dark shadows but she smiles as she turns her head to me. "Hello Esme."

"Dear Vicky, where have you been?" Her hand reaches for mine squeezing it tightly. "I told Edward he should have never let you go."

I cringe at her words wanting to disappear. I can't do this right now, my mind is full of so much with all the Rob, Bill and Elena mystery but I hold my tongue smiling back at her. "We have discussed that remember, sometimes things end for the best."

"For the best? Dear girl, in time you will see what you need and when you do Edward will be waiting." I love Esme but at this moment I can't think of a way to be soft when I tell her that I am not going back to her son. I glare at Edward coldly, Esme has never pressured me before but now suddenly she seems determined to make sure that I know I belong with her son. Behind Edward I see that girl frown then she looks at me. Our eyes meet for the first time and she just stares. Her eyes are deep brown and suddenly filled with tears. I have to look away and when I do she darts out of the room.

Glancing at Edward he either did not notice or does not care that she left. He is focused only on Esme and me. He reaches to take my other hand then smiles looking into my eyes, "that is right, I will be waiting."

I glare at him and whisper, "what are you trying to do?"

"I am trying once again to remind you what you lost. You gave up me and my family."

"Oh I see, you are reminding me that without your family I have none? You think I need to be told that I am all alone? Thanks for that but…" I turn to Esme, "I am sorry. I have to go, I love you and I am glad you are going to be okay but please know that Edward and I are not getting back together." I squeeze her hand softly then let go.

I start to stand up but Edward's grip on my other hand tightens as he pulls me to him almost making me fall. "Not so fast, we need to talk." He whispers to me as he stands up. "I will be right back Mom." Edward then pulls me into the hallway with him stopping just long enough to grab a file which he shoves at me as soon as we are out of the room. He lets go of my hand so I can grab it.

I eye the name on the file, Robert Anthony Black. Oh my god, Rob's file? His personal file? I stare at Edward blankly, "what is this?"

"You disappoint me Vicks, what happened to that nosy writer I fell in love with. I remember you did a background check on me before you would go on a date with me. What does this guy do to you that you are so snowed under? You didn't stalk him before you let him jump you?"

I growl at him, "If you remember the day I left you that is the day I stopped being your concern. Stop interfering in my life." I push the file back at him enough though I'm dying to read what's inside.

Edward pushes it back at me. "If you ever cared about me or yourself for that matter you will read that. You really should know the past of who you are sleeping with." With that Edward leans forward to kiss my cheek, he hesitates moving towards my lips but I turn my head away. "I will always love you and watch out for you whether you like it or not. Read that please." He turns away then and heads back into Esme's room.

I stare at him then down at the file in my hands. Out of the corner I hear a voice, "he will never stop." I look around then I see her, the new girlfriend. She is very pretty, she resembles me in we both have dark eyes and hair that we wear long over our shoulders. She leans against the wall with her arms crossed. "He won't stop till he has you back, why don't you love him?"

"I am sorry, who are you?"

"Isabella but you can call me Bella."

"Isabella…" I begin coldly, "I will not call you Bella as you are a stranger to me and I will not discuss my ex-husband with you either. You don't know me, don't ask me personal questions."

"I know more than you think, Edward talks about you all the time."

"I don't care, you don't know me. You know what he says about me, big difference."

"I know you left a man who desperately loves you because he wanted a child and you don't."

I advance on her speaking softly, "did he tell you that he told me that our first child needed to be conceived by the end of that year? Have you ever had anyone push you into doing things that you are not ready for?" She shakes her head seeming uncomfortable the closer I walk towards her. "Then you need to shut your mouth and keep your nose out of my business."

I turn to walk away but I hear her words loud and clear, "when I have his baby you will lose him forever."

I turn back to her, "you would do that? Have his child just to try to make him love you more than me?" She nods then starts to walk back into the room. I don't bother to speak to her again but walk briskly out to my car. What the hell kind of bitch did Edward find? She clearly hates me but he doesn't love her. He didn't even notice when she left the room. I sigh and lean back against the seat with my eyes closed, so much running through my head that it is just overwhelming and I feel sick. I roll down my window then slowly drive to my apartment.

The door is unlocked and Kari is sitting at the kitchen bar when I walk in. She waves at me and offers a drink. I plop down next to her putting my purse over the file so she won't be able to read it. She pushes a can of coke my way and then sits back down, "how are you? You look flushed."

"It's hot out." I pop open the can and down half of it.

"Vi it's like only 60 out today, it is not hot. You getting sick?"

"No I'm fine." I startle when my cell goes off and dig it out of my pocket. It's Mrs. Grey. I answer it at once. "Hello Mrs. Grey."

"Victoria I was just getting back to you about that project. I know its short notice but I just had my afternoon appointment cancel, can you be here at 1?"

I eye the clock and see its just enough time to eat quickly then change but I nod, "I sure can. I don't have much written yet but I can tell you my ideas."

"I didn't think you would have had time to rough out much. Just bring what you have and you know where my office is located?"

"I do, I will be there at 1."

I scramble out of my seat taking my coke with me to my room with Kari in hot pursuit. "Who are you meeting?"

"Mrs. Grey." I dig out a black suit from my closet and start to look for my black heels.

"Mrs. Grey as in head of publishing?" I nod to her, "wow nice, we have both worked there for a while but never met her. Good luck. Do you want to eat before you go?"

"Yeah I better eat quick, then I have to head." We head back to the kitchen but as I walk I feel light headed. I lean on the kitchen counter for my balance while Kari digs in our fridge. She pulls out some salad and I start to eat while she makes me a sandwich. She eyes me again, "you look so pale, are you sure you are okay?"

"I am fine, don't worry about me." I eat quickly then finish my coke. Back in my room I change quickly into my suit then pull up my hair. I look professional but my heart is racing and I feel all sweaty. I take a deep breath holding onto my dresser. As I head out Kari tosses my purse at me and tells me good luck.

With the window down the cool air keeps me from feeling sweaty again. I don't know why my heart is racing, maybe it's just nerves. I arrive in plenty of time but my stomach is in knots, I race to the ladies room only to lose my lunch. I rinse out my mouth and splash cold water on myself trying to get it under control for our meeting. I am barely back in the waiting room when she comes for me.

Anastasia Grey is not a tall women but she projects an impressive image. She has her brown hair flowing over her shoulders while her blue eyes scan me. She nods then gestures towards her office. As I follow her I admire her outfit, she is every inch an editor. I am still shocked at how fast I got this meeting. We sit down and get straight to business. "Victoria, it's nice to meet the face behind the email. I have been reading your work since you emailed me and I have to say that I am impressed. I normally only deal with our book authors not the online staff but I enjoy your writing."

"Thank you Mrs. Grey. I have enjoyed my job here; the variety of topics I get to work on has been my favorite part."

Please call me Ana and I noticed you have covered several interesting areas."

Ana, then you must call me Vicky and thank you."

As we talk I feel very comfortable with her, she is very knowledge and clearly she has read many of my articles since we spoke. "So may I ask how you came up with the idea for this latest project?"

"Well this is kind of embarrassing." I lean back in my chair trying not to blush.

"Vicky it doesn't leave this room, I just wonder how a pretty girl like you is drawn to this dark topic."

"I met a man and before I knew it he was showing me his playroom."

"Was this the man who answered your phone last night?"

I blush bright red, "yes that is him, he sent me a contract and since then I have been trying to figure out that world and if I want to be a part of it."

I see a dark shadow cross Ana's eyes and she leans back in her chair a bit, "so he said he knew my husband, did he mention anything of that to you?"

"No he didn't. Is that a problem?"

"No, it's not. I was just curious. Okay but back to topic, what are you thinking?"

"Well, there is so much to go with but I wanted to first explore why one wants to be in this kind of a relationship." She nods and then pulls out a notepad; she starts to take notes as I talk. "When he first told me what it meant, submissive I was shocked. I didn't understand how anyone could want to be controlled by anyone else but then we did a practice night." I feel my face blush as I remember that night. I hear Ana's voice softly urging me to go on.

"Letting him take over and tie me up that first night was terrifying at first. All I could think of was is he going to hurt me and then I looked into his eyes. He told me that I was the one in control, all I needed to do was to say one of the safe words and he would stop at once. That night he touched me and pushed me harder than anyone ever has but at the same time he took me higher than anyone ever has too. I have never had a night like that. I wanted it to never end."

"Did you submit to him fully that first night?"

"Oh no, he didn't want that until we had a signed contract. That first night was just his way of showing me what was possible. That night brought out something in me. I liked being controlled and pushed, I wanted more."

Ana is writing furiously trying to keep up with me then as I stop she stares at me, "I understand that feeling, the feeling of wanting more. So obviously you signed the contract. Do you have any reservations about that?"

"The contract scared me at first but we talked through it point by point, the thing that I found most surprising is that I was so turned on by his wanting to show me all those things. It makes it not seem as scary. He wants to teach me, to let me experience all these things, and to care for me."

"You understand that is a dominant's job?"

"Oh I do, he explained that to me and his duties to me are part of our contract."

"Can we put part of that contract up on the blog?"

"I am sure we can but we need to leave out the names."

"Of course but I think we need to show a true contract."

"I agree and only when you see the contract can you understand this kind of relationship. It's not marriage but as Rob told me, he will care for me more than any boyfriend or husband will but he will expect more of me as well."

Ana sucks in a breath at that, "Rob sounds like an interesting man."

"My Master is a very interesting man; I love learning more and more about him and from him."

"I have to tell you that I love all this Vicky, I think this is going to be a very interesting venture. I have already set up a blog site. Now all you need to do it log in and get to blogging."

"You don't need to think it over after hearing my ideas?"

Ana's laugh at my surprised face makes me laugh too. "No I don't need to think about it. I love the idea for very personal reasons and I look forward to seeing what you write." She handed me a small business card with the web site on it, .com. I stare at it and then nod at her. "The log in info is on the back of the card but if you have any problems logging in let me know." She then gives me the notes she took while I was talking, "here you might need these too."

"Thank you Ana, I will post my first blog entry tonight."

"I look forward to reading it."

I let myself out of her office and grin, it's a green light and the first entry is already swimming around in my head but now I have to wonder what Ana meant by loving my idea for personal reasons. I head back home and straight to set up my laptop. I want to shake this blog post out of my head before I lose it. I logged into the blog site with no problems. I fight to keep up with the stream of thought coming out of me as I type.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

_I never planned to become a sub. Being submissive was never the way I saw myself but after the way Master explained it to me I liked the idea. Who doesn't want someone to lead you, someone to take care of you and someone to show you things you have never imagined. That all appealed to me but I would be lying if I didn't mention Master's appeal. _  
_  
The first moment I laid eyes on him in a crowded bar he drew me in. One of his first sentences to me was an order which I obeyed without thought. There is something deep and dark about him that appeals to me in ways I never dreamed of. I want to please him. To hear him call me good girl makes me higher than ever before. And the things he has talked of showing me...it all leaves me eager and wanting for more._  
_  
The contract initially almost scared me off but after talking through it with Master I see that I am the one in control. I can set the limits. Hard limits on the things that I will never ever consider trying and soft limits on the ones that I am willing to play around with but just one of the safe words from me and Master will stop at once. So just a yellow or red from me and he will back off but there are things listed on that contract that intrigue me. At first I was ashamed to admit that but behind closed doors I will let him show me those and see if I like them._  
_  
It's a dark world but there is something about it that makes me push the door open so I can creep inside. I want to see what else there is..._

After I post my entry I stand up and head to the kitchen. Sitting there quietly reading Rob's file is Kari. I had completely forgotten that file and just stare at her. She looks up with a guilty look then shakes her head, "you really should read this. How is the year of someone's birth unknown?"

"What?" I just stare at her.

I forget being angry in my curiosity. I lean closer and look at Rob's file. It has birth day and month but no year. She leans closer to me and points to another part of the sheet. Under marital status it has divorced. I stare at her and she looks at me, "so he didn't mention being divorced to you?"

"No he didn't, not once. Let me see that." I pull the file closer to me and turn the page over. The spouse's name is not listed anywhere but I see everything else you ever want to know about someone. There are list of properties owned and his family. His mother and father were listed. Then I see that not only does he have his brother Bill but apparently a sister named Alice as well. I flip to the next page and gasp; there is an obituary for a Mrs. Robert Anthony Black. My mind spins, is he divorced and widowed? He never said a word to me about either. I read the obituary quickly trying to hide it from Kari's view; the wife's name was Elena. I gasp and feel myself growing too hot again. I look over at Kari, "Is it warm in here?"

"Vi, you have to be getting sick. You look so pale." She leans forward to touch my face, "you are sweating."

"I don't feel right." I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I open my eyes as my cell phone goes off as I answer if the room seems to spin. I whisper quietly trying to stand up. "Hello?"

I hear Rob's voice but not clearly as if he is miles away yelling at me. I try to speak again but the room fades to black. The last thing I hear is Kari calling out my name then it's silent.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Behind my closed eyes I see Rob; he is standing over me in the playroom with a whip in his hand. I am strapped down in the chair. As he moves closer my whole body starts to shake in anticipation. He reaches to push the leg rest open and then I see him raise the whip but my focus is interrupted by voices growing louder and louder calling out my name. I am so warm, the sweat is running down my face but a sudden cool cloth makes me sigh in relief. The dream fades and I moan.

Then I hear his voice, Rob..."Victoria?" I moan again and slowly open my eyes. I look around confused; my last memory is talking to Kari at the kitchen bar. How did I get here to my bed?

"Is she awake?" That voice is familiar then I realize its Edward, oh no. The two of them were together in the same room?

I struggle to sit up but Rob sits down next to me gently pushing me down. "You need to rest, you fainted. We were talking, I came right over." He moves the cool cloth over my sweaty hair and kisses my forehead, "you scared us, you have been out for a bit. I have Bill on his way over."

"No Rob please I am sure I am fine." I stare up into his eyes and see so much concern there. He rushed right over; did he put me to bed? I am about to ask but he shushes me.

"You are burning up, you are not fine." He pushes my hair back and leans over to grab a glass of water which he offers to me. As he brings it to my lips I hear Edward.

"Listen to him." He is leaning against the door frame. He stares at Rob and as soon as Rob puts the glass down Edward comes into the room with a frown on his face. "Robert do you mind if I talk to Vi here alone for a minute?"

Rob looks at me and I nod softly, I don't want him to leave but I don't want to talk to Edward with him in the room. Rob nods to him, "I will wait in the other room, and Bill will be here any minute."

Edward moves to the other side of my bed pulling up a chair. He waits till Rob has left the room to lean close to me. "You are not okay; you have never passed out before."

"I don't know what to tell you, it happened." I close my eyes trying not to vent.

"Look at me; you are letting his brother be your doctor now?"

"Yes." I answer in a small whisper. "Why?"

"Jesus you would not ever let my father near you but this guy, you have known him for how long and you are trusting him with your life. Did you read the file?"

I shake my head at him eyeing the door. "I started to but I don't want to talk about that right now."

"That is part of what got you so upset isn't it? He didn't tell you about his wife." I glare at him and point to the door but Edward is not moving. "You should have researched him like you did me then maybe you would not be sleeping with a man who let his wife die."

I sit straight up and hiss at him, "get the fuck out of here now, I don't want you here."

"Kari called me and I am not leaving till you are on your feet."

"How many times do I need to tell you to leave me alone? You are not my husband or even my boyfriend Edward. GO!" I struggle to not fall back on the bed as my vision starts to blur again.

He pushes me down and grabs the wet cloth that Rob left on my night stand. Putting in on my forehead Edward leans down till we are nose to nose. "You will always be a part of me and you can deny it all you want but you have me in your heart too."

"Get off me and get out." I panic as I see him moving closer. I know he means to kiss me but I know I am too weak to fight him off.

"I believe the lady said you need to leave now." I don't recognize the voice at first but then I see Bill come to my bedside behind Edward. I smile happy for once to see him magically appear. Edward glares at me then looks at him. "Do I need to remove you? I need to see how she is."

Edward moves slowly but stands directly in front of Bill blocking him from me. "So you are the doctor brother?"

"I am, she is in my care."

"Doesn't look like you are doing a great job, she has never passed out before. Try harder this time." I hear Edward's voice turn cold and hard, "I don't care what you have heard I love this girl and you don't care good care of her I will come for her. I won't let you cover up another accident, understand me."

I lean up on my elbows to growl at Edward, "this topic is done, get out NOW!"

Edward turns to me and kisses my forehead pushing me back on the bed. "Done for now only, I will be waiting till I hear you are okay to leave." He kisses my lip so quickly I can't fight then darts out of the room.

I see a glimmer of amusement in Bill's eyes as he winks my way then shuts my door. He comes to sit down on my bed gazing into my eyes. "Okay Ms. Drama, if you wanted to see me you could have just called me."

"Bill that is not funny and I don't have your number."

"Yes you do but now tell me what is going on. How do you feel?" He places his hand on my forehead still peering into my eyes.

"Wait, don't distract me. How do I have your number?"

"You didn't see it in your saved contacts?" He pulls a thermometer out of his bag and brings it to my lips. I shake my head and fume silently while he takes my temperature. "You are running a little warm. So what happened before you fainted?"

As soon as he pulls the thermometer out of my mouth I swear at him. "Damn it, when did you enter your number in my phone? I won't answer your questions till you answer mine."

"Do not get yourself all worked up, I did it when you left the room with me and ran after Rob." He meets my gaze openly.

"Why?" Staring into his eyes I am surprised by how open he is being. I can see in his eyes he is holding nothing back.

"Nope I answered your question now you have to answer one of mine first."

Sighing I groan, "I was talking with Kari and I got hot, too hot. Then the room spun around."

"I put that in there in case you needed me. And if you had any more questions." He digs in his bag and hands me some aspirin. "Were you upset by anything at the time?"

I swallow hard remembering what I had just read in that file. Fuck the file! Where was it? I last remember holding it again my chest while talking to Rob. "I was thinking about something."

Bill chuckled, "that is women code for yes. I think you just need to rest but it might also be a reaction to that shot I gave you."

"I told you that I didn't need it."

Bill's smile disappears and a dark cloud comes to his face. I cringe at once, "Listen to me, that shot might have been too much for you right now but being pregnant by my brother would be worse. Trust me, I am protecting you."

"Being pregnant won't hurt me, women do it every day." I argue with him.

"Do you remember what I said about some bloods doesn't mix? His blood mixed with yours could be deadly."

"You don't even know my blood type, how can you know that?"

"It's my business to know these things and just please I know you don't trust me after I have come on to you but in my medical judgment please trust me. I made a mistake once and someone died, I won't let it happen again." His tone is so harsh but sad, I nod and then he turns his head as the door opens just a crack. Its Kari peeking, her blue eyes take in Bill as she pushes her blond hair off her face. Bill's smile returns and he waves to her, "Come in, we haven't meet. I'm Bill, Rob's brother and Victoria's doctor."

"Hello I'm Kari, Vi's roomie." I can see her taking him in and Bill turns on the charm flashing her a wink. I roll my eyes at Kari. "These boys are pacing out here, can they come in?"

Bill nods, and then rises from my bed. He turns to the door as it opens wide. Rob comes to him but Edward moves straight to my bed sitting where Bill just left. I glare at him and call to Bill, "so will I live?"

"Little smart ass, you will but I want you to stay in bed until that fever breaks. No work, no stress and..." He eyes his brother. "No sex." I blush bright red, "I will leave you with that, lots of liquid and I will check back with you tomorrow." Edward coughs then gestures to Bill, when Bill moves closer Edward asks me if I am pregnant. I glare at him. Bill laughs and shakes his head no. "That is a no but I think I will leave on that note."

I forget about Rob and Kari staring at me as I rage at Edward, "What the fuck? Did you forget yourself again, if I am pregnant it would not be yours! It's not your right to ask that question anymore. Damn it Edward, please leave now."

"No I am staying to take care of you." He glares right back at me and refuses to move.

Then Rob makes his presence known, "I will be caring for her. Here or my place as she wishes."

"Rob…" I turn to him, "You don't need to do that. I don't need anyone to care for me. I will be fine."

"Victoria, the terms are quite clear." Rob gives me his Master tone and I know I can't fight him on this. I bow my head and nod submitting to him.

Edward is furious and jumps up to stand in Rob's way. "This is your fault, you and your brother. She has never passed out before, are you drugging her to submit to you?"

Rob gives a dry laugh, "drug her? No I haven't drugged her."

"Listen you think this shit is funny? I love this girl, can you say that?"

"Oh my god, Edward stop right now." I sit up and yell from my bed.

Kari has been silent all this time but suddenly steps forward, "No Vi I want to hear his answer."

"This is still my room, I want you all out. He doesn't have to answer that."

Rob looks from Edward to Kari then to me. He shakes his head and turns to face Edward, "you ask me if I love her. I just meet her and I would not be here right now if I didn't care deeply about her. I don't believe in tossing out that word till I get to know someone."

Edward nods stiffly then moves towards the door, he stops to look at me. "You will never know how hard it is to leave you right now. I love you. Please do as I have asked and I will check back on you soon." I nod but point again to the door. He looks at Rob, "You should not have to think either you love her or you don't. I will be watching, you hurt her and I hurt you." With that Edward leaves the room, Kari glares at Rob then follows Edward out.

Rob shuts the door softly then turns to look at me. "Are you okay?"

"You heard Bill, I will be fine."

Rob comes over to sit down and takes hold of my hands. "Not what I meant, with this scene and the fact that you are with me. I won't say I love you yet but he…" He looks at the door and I know he means Edward. "He loves you, are you sure about us?"

"Rob listen to me, Edward loves the me he thinks he knows. He loves the me he wants me to be but it's not who I am. He wants things I don't want now and might never. If I go with him all my choices are already made but if I go with you I get to be me, the real me."

Rob leans down to kiss my lips softly, "fair enough. I want you, the real you. Now I want the real you to rest but here or my place?"

"Do you mind if we stay here, your housekeeper creeps me out." I lie back and pat the bed next to me.

Rob laughs then crawls next to me wrapping his arms around me, "okay now what exactly happened?"

I sigh and tell him about Rose's sudden appearances and the things she has said to me. He sighs and tightens his grip on me. "You seem to be like a reminder of the past to both her and Bill but I don't see it."

"So I don't remind you of Elena then?"

"The woman, who broke my heart, lied to me and then disappeared? No you don't. In fact, I don't see it at all. You might have the same dark hair and eyes but I don't see anything more."

"She broke your heart?" I turn to look at him, his face is very pale and he looks at me then nods.

"I do not use the words I love you very easily but I said them to her. In fact, I married her. She was the one I thought, I wanted to change her." He stops abruptly then continues on, "I mean I wanted to change things for her."

"You loved her?"

"Yes I did but then after our wedding she changed. I wanted to discuss things with her but she kept putting plans off. Rose is the one who told me about them."

"Elena and Bill?"

"Yes. She told me how Bill was at our house all the time."

"You had a house?"

Rob nods, "we did, and I sold it after the divorce. I could not bear to stay there but Rose, I brought her with me to the apartment to thank her for all she did to warn me."

"So Elena was pregnant?" I know I am pushing my luck with him but he is talking so I have to try.

Rob bristles at that question and suddenly I see his eyes harden. "Yes she was but it wasn't mine." I hold my breath and as he speaks my heart breaks for him. "I had to be away for business but when I came back she was so cold to me, we didn't sleep together for over two months then one day she tells me she is pregnant. Vi, she was barely pregnant so there was no way it was mine."

I see his eyes glisten and know he is crying. I close my eyes to hide my own tears and pull him close to me. "I am so sorry; I would never do that to you."

"I know that, you are so different than her. I think that Bill must see her when he looks at you but if he knew you, you are nothing like her. Elena never asked questions she just blindly obeyed. You question things and like your wanting to write about what we do; Elena would have never wanted to do anything like that." Rob leans over kissing my nose, "that is enough for now I think. You need to rest and I need to run to my place. I want to grab a few things then you are in my capable hands until you are better."

I grin at him, "I have a hot nurse." He smirks at me then laughs as I whistle. He kisses my lips one last time then leaves the room giving me strict instructions to rest while he is gone.

My eyes are so heavy that I drift off as soon as he closes the door. My dreams are dark and full of ghosts. I see a girl who looks like me, she is wandering through a dark hallway looking for something but afraid of being followed. At every turn she stops looking behind her then slowly proceeds on until suddenly a figure pulls out of the shadows grabbing her. As she is pulled into the shadows his face appears, its Bill. They start to embrace passionately pawing and ripping at each other's clothes until they hear someone coming. I am like an observer in this twisted nightmare as I see the person's face. It's Rob and the girl steps out of the shadows to kiss him while staring past him at her shadow lover. I hiss at them and try to warn Rob but they walk off together while her lover stares back at me with dark eyes. He moves toward me telling me that I can take her place, I am just like her.

I wake up with a jerk and Rob is at my side, "You are sweating again, bad dream?"

I gaze up at him with big eyes and whisper, "I don't want to be just like her."

"Is that what you dreamed about?" I nod and close my eyes willing tears to leave me but they start to flow down my face instead. The dream seemed so real, Bill's words to me they haunt me. "Open your eyes look at me." I obey at once and see him gazing at me with concern. "What did I tell you? You are nothing like her." I nod and start to speak but his finger on my lips stops me. "You are strong and have already shown me that. Elena was weak, he flattered her and she wanted more."

"I am not that strong Rob."

"So said the woman who left her husband so she could be who she wanted to be and when my brother came on to her she bite him and slapped him. Sounds like a very strong woman to me." I grin at him and can't deny what he says is true. "You are one of the strongest I have ever known Victoria, it makes you unique."

"You talk like you have known a lot of girls."

"In my time, I have. I know how to pick the best ones now which is why I am here with you." He winks at me then asks if I want anything. My head is aching and I feel all sweaty but I don't want to take a shower right now. I don't know if I can stand up that long. He eyes me and laughs, "Did my compliments make you shy?"

"No." I smirk then admit the truth. "Ok maybe a little. Strong girl here needs to cool off but I don't think I can manage a shower."

"Sure you can, with help unless you want to take a bath instead?"

I am touched by Rob; he is definitely here to take care of me. "I think a bath might be good."

He stands up and disappears into my bathroom, I hear water running then I sit up slowly. On the corner of my dresser I see the file, his file. Oh fuck! I want to hide it but Rob walks back into the room before I can move. He reaches for me helping me up. As we walk past my dresser I stop walking and lean there as if I need a break. He doesn't question me but holds still supporting me. I eye him and when he looks away for a second I grab the file and shove it into my top drawer then stand up pushing myself off the dresser. "Ready to continue?" I nod to him and step with his help into the bathroom. He gently strips me down and once I am in the water he leaves the room. I lean back and sigh in relief. That damn file will be the death of me; I just need to get rid of it sooner than later. I don't want to read anymore of it and I don't want him to find it either.

I close my eyes and relax in the hot water until I hear him come back in; he sits next to the tub and offers to wash my hair. I nod and let him pamper me. "You are too good to me."

"Please you are worth it." He winks at me making me laugh. I splash water at him and he playfully pulls my hair. "Two can play that game."

I nod to him and then laugh again as my stomach growls loudly. "Was that you?" Rob points at me and I shake my head no. "Whatever I think you need to eat. What can I make you?"

"You can cook?"

"Always a smart ass, yes I can cook or I can run out and pick up whatever you want."

"I don't know, nothing comes to mind. Something light maybe, soup?"

"Can do; let's get you back to bed first." He finishes my hair then helps me stand up and dry off. "You are a very gorgeous girl, you make me want you but I can't with you being sick." I blush and he laughs, "That makes me want you more."

"Really?"

"It is a big turn on to find a beautiful girl who doesn't know how attractive she is. It makes you that much more desirable Victoria; I want to show you how gorgeous you are."

"Well as soon as the doctor allows, I say let's do that." I take his hands and step out of the tub. He nods and then pulls me to sit on his lap. He towels off my hair then kisses my neck. We head back into my bedroom and I stop to grab a t-shirt. As I put it on Rob eyes me, I smirk and pull on some boy shorts then move towards my bed. I stop and eye it, "did you change the sheets?"

"I did, you don't want to be lying in your own sweat do you?"

"No, thank you. You are the best nurse." I grin and crawl under my sheets. He nods and rolls his eyes at me. I watch him head for the door, "hey!"

"Hey what, you need food. Be right back."

I nod but cringe wondering how Kari will like him being in the kitchen as if an answer to my question I see her peeking in the door. She has my cell phone in her hands and a guilty look on her face. "Yes?"

"You need to text Edward, he said to text him to let him know how you were or he would pop back over to find out."

"Okay I will do that but wait….." I eye her face, "what else?"

"He wants me to talk you into letting Carlisle examine you, just to make sure you are alright."

"No way, not happening. I am fine; see it is nothing a little rest won't cure."

"Fine but I tried, and I would text him soon or he will be back here."

I sigh and then watch her leave; I fall back against the pillows and sigh. I wish she would give up her thoughts of getting Edward and I back together. I decide to text him quick before I forget but there is already a text from him waiting for me.

Vicks, please text me when you wake up. I just need to know that you are okay.

I roll my eyes and text him.

I am fine, nothing a little rest won't cure.

His reply is immediate making me swear under my breath.

You mean nothing that you can't sleep off? What did they drug you with?

I was not drugged.

You believe everything he tells you don't you?

He has given me no reason to doubt him so yes I do.

Read the damn file.

I did.

No you haven't or you would have left him by now.

I have read part of it, why are you so sure?

He let his wife die.

I am so furious with Edward and his replies that I don't even notice Rob come to the doorway with my food. As I text Edward back my fingers fly.

He didn't let her die, you don't know the circumstances. You need to realize that the more you push me the more you lose me. I will stop talking to you. Please let it go and let me go.

"Bad time?" I look up to see Rob next to me with a soup bowl and spoon in hand.

"No, just Edward. Had to reply so he would not be back here."

Rob hands me the bowl and sits down carefully while I start to eat. "How long were you two together?"

"All through college, that's where we met." I eat slowly and watch Rob's face.

"He just seems very hung up on you, am I the first guy since the divorce?"

"Other than the string of horrible blind dates that Kari has made me go on, yes you are." I stop and look at Rob, "oh god do you think that is why he asks like this?"

"Probably, but I understand. To love a person enough to marry them it tears you apart when they leave you." I don't know how to answer that so I say nothing. I finish my soup and sip some water then lie down. Rob takes my bowl to the kitchen then strips and slips into bed beside me. As he wraps his arms around me I turn on the TV and we both drift off while watching a movie.

In the middle of the night I struggle against Rob's arms as my body flushes with heat again. I dream I'm caught in his apartment sitting in my study with Rose on the other side of my desk. She has an evil light in her eyes and she waves to me, "you have a visitor." I shake my head at her trying to tell her that I don't have anyone who would visit me at Rob's place but I look up to see Edward. He is furious; he is yelling at me for being stupid and then points at my belly. I look at him confused then look down. I am pregnant? Oh my god, my stomach is huge, when did that happen? I look up at him and he is crying, he keeps saying he is going to let you die too. I know he is talking about Rob again and I try to tell him that this is not real. It can't be. I can feel myself sweating more and more but I can't move. I try to stand up out of the chair but I can't.

I open my eyes to darkness and Rob's arms tight around me holding me in place. I cry out and finally break free of him to race to the bathroom. I am over the sink splashing cold water on my face as Rob comes up behind me. His eyes are a dark glowing green as he watches me, "what did you dream this time?"

I shake my head and then look down, my stomach is flat. It was just a dream, a stupid nightmare. I just want these thoughts to go away. I turn to him and collapse against his chest. "You didn't leave her because she was pregnant did you?"

"What?" He sits down on the closed toilet pulling me into his lap. "Is that what you think?" I shrug at him. "I didn't leave her, she left me. I didn't even get a chance to tell her that I knew the baby was not mine. I woke up one day and she was gone like a ghost in the night. No note, no word where she had gone. For a long time I thought she would come back but I waited and waited, no word from her. Bill heard from her before I did, she asked him for a name for a good ob/gyn." I wrap my arms around him. "So no I did not leave her, and I won't leave you. I don't want a baby but if it happened, I would support you in any decision you make."

"Rob, Bill said getting pregnant would possibly kill me."

"He said what?"

"He said some blood doesn't mix, that Elena died because of being pregnant."

Rob is silent and I am scared, is he upset that I asked him this? I just want this illness or whatever is happening with me to pass. These dreams are scaring me, I feel so unsure. Minutes pass painfully slow until I hear Rob speak, "pregnancy is what killed her but it should not have." Before I can ask what he means Rob speaks again, "I was supposed to save her."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Still sitting on his lap in the dark bathroom I shake my head confused, "save her? Do you have some kind of magic I don't know about?" I watch his face and suddenly he stands up sweeping me into his arms. He doesn't speak as he carries me back to my bed. I lie down and stare at him but he still says nothing. I let my head fall to my pillow and with his arms around me I drift back to sleep.

Again the dreams start, I am wandering through a large house, I hear loud voices. As I get closer I recognize Bill's voice. He is talking about telling someone something. I stand in the doorway as Elena moves toward me; she is yelling at him that she can't do that. Bill sneers that Rob knows about them anyway and at the moment Rose appears behind me, I hear her voice in my ear, "I see everything, never forget that." I jerk straight up in a dead sweat. Rob bristles and stirs while I stare into space. I pull away from him, I am so confused.

"Victoria?"

I don't turn my head but whisper to him, "Yes?"

"Another dream?" I nod and he sits up pulling me back to him. He pushes my sweaty hair off my face and gazes into my eyes. "You need to relax; you know that dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something?" I turn my head to look at him. "Maybe you need to talk to someone, get what's bothering you out."

"Rob I can't do that, and I am fine."

"No you are not, these dreams I can see what they do to you. You look like you have seen a ghost." I bite my lip not sure how to tell him that is exactly what I keep seeing, Elena...the ghost of his past. How can I get her out of my head? "I have someone you can trust to talk to but for now, try to sleep."

I finally fall into a dreamless sleep only to wake up a few hours later as sunlight brushes over my face. I groan and roll over. Rob is gone. I lift my head yawning but he is not in sight. I grab my cell by the bed to check the time but it's dead. Shaking my head I sit up and reach for the charger cord. I plug it in and then stand up to head to the bathroom. As I stand up the room spins, "Whoa there, slow does it." I fall back into a pair of arms that were not there a moment ago.

I cringe as I realize I am in Bill's arms. "Let go of me."

"And let you fall?" His smirk makes me want to slap him but before I can Rob comes through my door with a tray. He looks at Bill and shakes his head. As soon as Rob puts the tray down he comes over to help. Bill lets me go and I stumble towards the bathroom with Rob's help. As I shut the door I hear Bill's voice, "Does she seem better to you?"

Rob answers loud and clear, "No she doesn't and you never said exactly what caused this. She is having nightmares and the fever seems to come and go. What was in that shot you gave her?"

"I told you, it was a birth control shot. Her body just needs to adapt to the extra hormones and it will in time. I won't make the same mistake again."

"Bill which mistake is that? Sneaking around with your brother's wife or getting her pregnant?"

"Victoria will be out here any minute; you want her to hear all this?"

"She knows the truth."

"You told her? All of it?"

I lean against the door holding my breath as I listen, "I told her about Elena and what happened."

"You didn't tell her about you and me?"

"No I didn't, I don't want to lose her."

"I don't want you to lose her that is why I gave her that shot. It will make sure she doesn't get pregnant."

I start to move my hand to the door knob but freeze as Rob speaks, "You need to warn me before you give her another one. And brother, touch her again and I will kill you myself. You stop telling her that she reminds you of Elena, this is Victoria and she is mine."

"Fine." Bill's voice sounds close as he replies to Rob then suddenly there is a pounding on the door. It scares me as Bill calls out to me, "Here Vicky you okay in there?"

"I am fine." I start to open the door, Rob is right there waiting for me but his eyes are on Bill. Bill is staring at me as I walk into the room. I feel like he is not seeing me but her. His eyes are wide then he grins at me making me feel strange. Its like he is undressing me with his eyes and I have to look away. I look towards Rob, his handsome face is clenched tight, and I can see the tension in his jaw as he finally looks at me. When our eyes meet his whole face softens, a look in his eyes so tender makes me breathless. He pulls me to the bed never looking away from me. As we sit down Rob finally breaks our eye contact to hiss at Bill, "remember what I said. Do what you need quickly, she needs to eat and rest."

Bill nods and then clears his throat. Rob reluctantly leaves, I watch him close the door. Bill moves in front of me taking my temperature again. As the thermometer is in my mouth he kneels between my legs. "You need to tell me what Rob told you. I can protect you, just say the word.

As soon as I can I shake my head at him, "Do not order me and I do not need you or want you to protect me. Protect me from what, from Rob? Can you protect me from you?"

"I won't hurt you." He moves closer to me, I can see in his eyes he is seeing her again.

I am done with this nonsense. I slap him hard, "look at ME! Me, Victoria! I am not ELENA!" My yelling brings Rob back into the room but I can't stop. "I am not her, please just leave me be."

Rob pulls Bill to his feet and pushes him out of my bedroom while I fall back on the bed crying. Shutting the door behind him Rob stares at me, "Baby are you okay?"

"No I am not; I want to seen as me not a ghost."

Rob moves to lie over me, he runs a finger down my face and whispers to me, "I see you. I see Victoria."

I turn my head to look up at him, "and do you want me?"

"You have to ask, would I be here if I didn't?" His eyes are a warm green and in them I melt. I reach up to grab his hair and pull him to me kissing him hard. He kisses me back just as eagerly pulling up my t-shirt so his hands rest on my bare stomach. I moan as he starts to move them up higher and higher as he whispers to me, "you are all I want."

"You are all I want Rob."

"Let me show you." I gaze at him between kisses; does he mean he wants me now? Wait outside the playroom and games, just him and I right now?

He starts to kiss me again and I get lost in him and his hot kisses that send sparks through my whole body. His hands move higher till his fingers brush over my breasts. I am so sensitive I moan against his lips at that touch. Then I feel his hands move to my t-shirt, a sharp ripping sound fills the air and my shirt is in two pieces. He moves down to cover my breasts with his hot kisses. I feel myself growing wet as his tongue caresses my nipples making them hard then I feel him bite them. Closing my eyes I moan out, "please Master don't stop."

Instantly his lips are on mine again...the kisses are hot, demanding as he moves his body between my legs. I feel him hard and ready grinding against me making my whole body shake then I hear his words, "No I am not Master, we are equals now. I am just Rob; I want to make love to you Vi. No toys, no games, just us."

His words make my heart jump as his touch makes my body tingle. Deeper and faster his kisses come until our tongues are entangled. I can taste him in my mouth. I moan again this time Rob grabs my TV remote and turns it on to cover our sounds as he grinds his body into mine hard. I put one leg over his leg as I grind back. He moves back to kissing my lips then starting moving down my neck. I close my eyes and then I feel him hesitate, he is kissing my neck but then I notice him stop. He takes a deep breath like sniffing me. I turn my head and see a dark look cross his face; his eyes go black and for a minute fear paralyzes me. He has a look like a crazed animal and he bites my neck but not hard enough to break the skin. It is so unexpected I cry out and feel myself cum hard. I shake in his arms and he keeps moving his kisses lower and lower. I can't speak to ask him what that was, that bite and sniffing me.

I am so lost, his tongue and lips reach my breasts. He takes my nipples one by one into his mouth tugging and rolling his tongue over them as I moan and wiggle under him. Each tug makes me moan and then I feel his hands ripping my shorts off. The sound makes me jump grinding up against him. His answer is to pin me down hard with his hands on both my hips. "You want me to keep kissing you...shall I taste you?"

I lean up and stare at him breathless, "Oh Rob, please. More." I barely recognize my voice as I beg for him to continue. It's hoarse and laced with need.

He moves his kisses over my belly biting and licking, before he reaches my clit he stops and takes another deep breath. I stare at him as he inhales my scent; my arousal is heavy in the air. He looks up meeting my gaze then holds our eye contact as he lowers his head. I cry out as the first touch of his tongue on me there is electric. I tingle everywhere then I feel his fingers moving up the insides my thighs. He moves his tongue over me and traces my lips there under I am almost bucking against his face. As I am about to explode again, he slips two fingers into me. I cry out his name reaching for his hair pulling it hard as I buck my hips against his face. Higher and higher, closer and closer to the edge he pushes me and before I come down he is pushing his tongue deeper and deeper while his fingers explore hard and fast. My body is singing under his touch and just before I explode again he moves away. I am too stunned to protest. I feel the bed move then the exquisite feeling of him deep inside me. I moan and stare up, his eyes are on me and he leans his head against mine. "You, what is it about you." He mutters softly moving slowing inside me. He rolls his hips in a circle while I moan. This is not like the other time, last time he fucked me but this time...its slow, its deep and its definitely making love. "Look at me Vi." I look up at his face and then run my eyes over his body. His body is so beautiful but my eyes are drawn lower and lower, I get lost watching his cock move and out of me over and over slow and deep. I moan and he moves slower. I watch as he slowly pulls out of me inch by inch then just as slowly impales me again. It is a delicious sight that I can't get enough of. "Are you watching me love you?"

I stare up at him hearing his words, love me? I whisper hoarsely my voice full of passion and ready to moan again at each of his movements inside me. "I am. I can't stop watching."

"Good, don't. I love watching too." His eyes go down and I get lost watching him watching us. Each move in and out of me, our bodies move so well together. It's not long until we are both moaning again. "Baby come with me. Look at me. I want to watch you cum." His words alone make me moan but then he pushes my thighs open wider and starts moving deeper. I get lost in his eyes and each thrust makes me wetter. I cry out again and again then I see his face flush red and as he explodes in me I detonate around him pulsating hard. We both cry out each other names. Our eyes are still locked and I see his eyes change again, they go black then back to green as he breathes hard. I breathe hard and fast then he collapses on me. We both lie quietly together just coming back down but I hear his voice soft but clear, "I don't want to say it yet but you have to know I feel it."

I know exactly what he means; I don't want to say those words to him yet either. To say I love you right now is too scary. It's too soon and I don't want him to say them just because I said it but I do feel it. I feel the love between us. In the way he has been caring for me, in his words to Bill that I am his and now in the tender way he made love to me. This was not just sex, this was two souls connecting. I whisper to him, "I feel it too; you don't need to say a word. Just hold me."

"I can do that." He pulls out of me to lie next to me wrapping his arms around me. Then I see him smirk at me, "wait did you just order me?"

I laugh, "It was more of a request than an order."

"I might like you ordering me. That is a first."

"Is that so? I can be bossy if you want."

"Wait did you just call me bossy? Your Dom is in charge not bossy." He grins at me.

"Bossy, in charge, all sounds the same to me." I grin back at him loving this moment. I feel so close to him, he kisses me then smirks.

He is about to speak when we hear a pounding on the door. Kari calls out, "Vicky you have a visitor."

I look at the door confused, who the hell would be here? Rob stands up and reaches into my dresser to toss clothes at me, I catch a t-shirt then he hesitates. "Hey I need shorts or something." I laugh but then I see him holding the file in his hand, the file with his name on it.

"What is this?"

Oh fuck! I freeze; I stare at him in panic. "That, Edward gave me that."

Rob tosses shorts at me then turns to lean on the dresser as he looks through it. He looks up at me after a few minutes, "did you read this?"

"Honestly, no. I read the one page but that is all." I want to cry, our tender moment is over. The spell is broken and it's Edward and that damn file's fault.

"Do you want to know the truth about me?" Rob's eyes are a deep green raging bright almost like a fire as he glares at me. He pulls on the clothes he threw on the floor.

"No I only want to know what you want to tell me. That is why I didn't read the rest of it."

"Victoria, do you want to read this or learn it from me?" I hear his voice change. Rob, my beloved equal is gone and Master Black is here now.

"I want to learn from you Master." He nods stiffly and without another word he rips the file in half then opens my door. I stare after him; I am still near tears as I look up.

In my doorway is a strange brunette, she looks familiar then I recognize her. It's Isabella, Edward's new girlfriend. What the fuck is she doing here? I stare at her, "Isabella?"

"Is this a bad time?" She fidgets in my doorway and jumps as Rob walks back into the room behind her.

He sits down on the bed next to me handing me a glass of water. He has a plate in his hand as well. I eye it as my stomach rumbles. I take the water from him as I shrug looking back at Isabella, "you have already interrupted, what do you want? And how did you find my place?"

"I followed Edward here."

"Are you a damn stalker? What do you want?" I see Rob give me a strange look. I don't know what to think of her showing up here.

"I just wanted to ask you if you are sure about leaving him. I don't want to have him dump me tomorrow when you run back to him."

I sit up straighter, now I am pissed. This little bitch comes here and demands answers of me, she ruined our moment and I don't hold back. "You have no right or invitation to be here. Does Edward know that you stalk him? I am not going to answer your questions, if you can't figure it out on your own maybe you shouldn't be with him? You blame me for him not what, running to you instead of coming to check on me. Grow up Isabella, look at yourself and your relationship with him and stop expecting help from me. You will be happier." I point at my door, "get out and don't come back."

She nods looking like a scared puppy, "you won't tell him I was here will you?"

"If he asks me I won't lie, maybe you should have worried about that before you stalked his ex-wife?"

"Fine, tell him then. When I give him the child he has always wanted you will lose him forever."

She turns and as she leaves the room Kari comes to my doorway with her eyebrow raised at me. "Was the Edward's new girlfriend?"

Rob leans closer to me seeming interested in my answer, "yeah I met her at the hospital yesterday. I think she is threatened by me."

Rob sighs, "I wonder why. Edward is here every chance he gets."

He pushes the plate at me, I nod and pick up the sandwich but before I take a bite I look at him, "not you too?"

Kari doesn't say a word but out of the corner of my eye I see her watching us intently. Rob nods, "Yes me too, he tells me how he still loves you and then basically tells me that he is just waiting for me to screw up. He is more than ready to jump back into your bed Vi."

"Well he will be out of fucking luck, that place is taken." I lean to Rob forgetting Kari. "Remember what I just said, I feel it and with you I can be me. I want that, I want you...I am not going back to being someone I am not."

Rob smirks at me and kisses me hard, "I remember but I like hearing it again, now you must be starving, I know I am. You eat that for now, I am going to run out and pick up a few things then bring you back a proper meal."

I blush at him and laugh, "That sounds great."

"I will surprise you then, back shortly." He kisses me then stops by Kari, "Would you like some too?" She nods seeming surprised to be included.

We both watch him leave and I sit back on the bed eating. Kari sits down on my bed, "so tell me please, did Rob kick his brother out?"

"Yeah he did, there is some issues there." I finish the sandwich and then a blog post fills my thoughts.

I start to stand up but Kari eyes me. "What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to stay in bed?"

"I want my laptop; I have an idea for my blog site."

"Let me get it." I sigh and then laugh; she disappears and come back with my laptop. "So you started a blog site?"

"Yeah I do, you want me to send you the link?"

"Sure if you want."

I nod to her and she leaves the room as I boot up my lappy. My mind is thinking of how Rob has been taking care of me. I pull up my blog site and see it has already been viewed quite a few times. I love seeing that and quickly bring up my email to send the link to Kari. Then I let my thoughts pour out onto my latest blog entry.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

_Trust can mean many things, to me it means being able to know that I can tell a person anything and they will hold it to themselves only. It also means that I know that person will never deliberately harm me; I can relax knowing I am safe with them. Trust is essential to a good relationship or friendship; it is the same with a Dominant/Submissive relationship._

_You have to know that you can trust your Master to do a number of things. 1. To honor the terms of your contract, 2. To respect your limits and when you safe word to stop at once, 3. To hold what you tell him to remain between you two only and most important 4. To know that you are safe with him. He will not deliberately hurt you, any punishment is meant for learning purposes._

_My Master surprised me by how loyally he honored the terms of our contract the first time I was sick during our time together. He came to me at once and did not leave me but tended to my care as a devoted nurse. As I watched him it occurred to me that he cared for me with the same care that I devote myself to him during playroom time. _

_Learning that he cared for me with the same level of devotion touched me in ways I did not expect. In most aspects of my life he is my main focus. He is the one I seek to please with all my actions and he is the one whose opinions matters. Is that wrong? I know we are not the normal "relationship" but it feels like maybe we are headed for something more than just Master/Sub. Maybe I am wrong but I am going to continue to devote myself to my Master fully in all that I am and all that I do._

I post it and then lie back on my bed reading through my emails. There is one from Mrs. Grey letting me know that she read the first blog post.

**_From_**_: Anastasia Grey_

**_Subject_**_: Blog_

**_Date_**_: Feb. 5, 2013 15:00_

**_To_**_: Victoria Masen_

_I read your first blog entry, good and straight to the point. I look forward to reading more. The blog site has been added as a suggested link to Grey's Publishing online site. I will be interested to see how many views it receives._

_Anastasia Grey_

_Editor, Grey's Publishing_

I hug myself pleased with her response and I know when she sees the number of hits she will be pleased as well. I send her an email back.

**_From: _**_Victoria Masen_

**_Subject: _**_Blog Views_

**_Date: _**_ Feb. 6, 2013 13:43_

**_To: _**_Anastasia Grey_

_I just reviewed the hits and it seems we are having a fair amount of traffic to the site. I just completed another blog entry._

_Victoria Masen_

I send the reply then shut down my laptop and drift off while I wait for Rob.

I'm in a dark room alone but I feel like someone is watching me. I just can't shake that feeling. I look out the windows but its dark out, the sky is black without a star in sight and no light coming from the moon. I sigh and move to turn on the light, when I do I see him. Bill. He is standing against the wall. I scream but he just smiles at me, it's an evil smile and his eyes twinkle as he puts one finger over his lips shushing me. I run to the door but when I open it Rose is there blocking my escape. She won't move and as I push against her I am surprised how strong she is. I scream at her to move but she just laughs, the more I struggle the louder she laughs until I am covering my ears from it. I give up and turn to eye Bill. He is still against the wall. He beckons me to him but I shake my head no and move to the other side of the room. Then I hear him laugh and his words make me want to scream again and slap him, "You have nowhere to go to escape me. You can give in the easy way or the hard way, your choice but you will be mine."

"Vicky?" I hear another voice and in my dream I cry out to that person to save me but nothing comes out. I try again but still nothing. "Vicky, wake up." I scream out and then feel something cold against my face, I open my eyes and the vision fades. Kari is leaning over me, "thank god, you are awake. You were screaming, are you okay?"

I stare at her and feel my face wet, I take the cloth from her and quickly wash my face. I nod to her stiffly, "I am fine. Just a dream."

"A dream that makes you scream like you are being killed? You kept asking me to save you."

"It was just a dream."

The front door slams then and Kari pops out of my room. I hear voices and then Rob appears in my doorway with bags in hand. The smell of food fills my room and my stomach growls in response. He sits the bags down on my dresser and comes to me his face covered with a deep frown, "Kari said you woke up screaming?"

I nod and sigh, "Yes another very vivid dream."

"Okay you need someone to talk to about these. In the meantime you need to eat." Rob calls out to Kari then he leaves her and I alone as he makes a call. She pulls over the bag and my mouth waters. He brought us pasta. I dig in and grab a breadstick as I devour my pasta. I didn't realize how hungry I was till now. After his call Rob sits down next to me on the bed and laughs, "wow hungry?"

"Starving and thank you."

He nods and looks at Kari, she finishes eating then thanks him for the food and leaves. I look at him with wide eyes as he closes my door. "I have someone coming over to talk to you about these dreams. They are probably brought on by all the extra hormones in your body but this might help."

"Someone is coming here? Rob that will cost too much. I am fine."

"No it won't, this person is not charging me a thing and we can trust her."

"What? Who is it?"

Rob gives me a funny half grin then winks at me, "you are going to meet my sister Alice. She is a psychologist."

I stare at him shocked, his sister? I am going to be expected to pour out these crazy dreams to his sister? His brother is my doctor and now his sister will be treating me as well? I am scared to ask what his parents do but then there is a knock at the door. I hear Kari talking with someone then she knocks on my door. Am I ready to pour out these crazy dreams? Do I have a choice?


End file.
